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I've been trying to post on here for a few days now, but seem to lack the capabilities to put my experiences into words. I feel like all day long I'm trying to put complex concepts and situations into black and white terms (office referrals, parent calls, lectures to my kids) and lack of sleep and general stress about the fact that I can't focus on any one thing for more than 30 seconds is making it come out as mush.

Yesterday was ok. Then on the way home, my bag fell over in the car and some coffee remnants spilled all over my bag. Luckily it wasn't much. It did get the edge of my gradebook and some kid's essays though. I got a new gradebook (haven't written anything in it yet, anyway....still using xerox copies of my roll because new kids are added every day)....the kids papers aren't terribly noticable, but I feel horrible about it. Can I blame it on the dog or something?

Ok....so my husband came in and asked me some question about dinner while I was typing that and I just started to cry....because he asked me about dinner. I can't have 5 minutes of work without someone interrupting me. At school, I can't grade papers or lesson plan because the kids are there and I constantly have to watch them, reprimand them, answer stupid questions (Like "Do we have to write the question?" when I've told them NO and at the top of the page it says DO NOT WRITE THE QUESTION in capital letters). I can't focus on anything. It takes me longer to get everything done, because I can't focus....so then I get less sleep....and can't focus because I'm tired....

This week is 400 times better than the last two weeks...it gets better every day. Today I reached a few kids....the ones on the edge....the ones you can tell will probably be discipline problems, but are actually smart....3 of them saw me believe in them today, so for one day they believed in me and actually learned instead of cutting up. Of course, I was focused on one of them in one period and let some things slide on the other side of the room (note passing, etc.) because I was so excited to have this one kid INTERESTED and asking questions about Cortez, Pizarro, the slave trade in the 1500s.... All I can hope is that I won an ally today. He's huge (football player) and popular and if he's engaged, that could cut down a lot of the problems in that class.

My class has turned into a study hall. I'm trying desperately to give a test next Friday (first test), but I'm issuing books tomorrow (actually, I'm still debating that because I'm still 12 books short....what will I do when I get to my last class?), but up until this point, they've been doing their homework in class. Today became....Ok, let's finish up section 1 (sample of how to do 2 column notes) Ok, now Read the section, write 2 column notes....this takes about 45 minutes per section. My class became Do Now, Quiz, lecture on section 1/2 column notes, sit and pretend to work for 45 min-1 hr. It takes them 45 min because they've never done them before. After 15min 2/3 of the class has quit, but others are still working. Today people complained about the quiz (ALL DAY) because they "didn't have time to do the work and couldn't take the book home". They had 45 minutes on Tuesday. One girl who threw a fit about that today, then refused to do her 2 column notes. I got her to quit doing work for another class and made her get her book out, but then she just sat and stared at me for 45 minutes. She'll get a zero on Monday's quiz and the cycle will start again.

The point of this rant is that I have to figure out what I'm doing tomorrow....I'm going to go over sections 1-2, which will take about 30 min (and the do now/quiz will take about 15)...I want the kids to learn that they have to do the notes before I lecture, so should I then make them do two column notes AGAIN for 45 minutes? My class is becoming study hall. I don't want to skip the 2c notes because they will be required to do them as homework for every other chapter. Also, they need the practice. Tomorrow is also Pep Rally day and I'm not sure I have the energy to force 4th block to work on 2c notes.....