I can't even seem to find anything coherent to write about on here. I think of things I should post, but by the time I get to a computer, they're lost behind a million other things in my head, so this will be a collection of random ramblings.
I'm not getting my EEF stuff. I got some of it. I got some of the nicer items, but not the ones I was really dying for. I ordered 2 desk sorters. It seems silly, but they would make my life heavenly at this point. I love to organize things and right now there are papers everywhere on my desk. I ordered the nice 42 dollar desk sorter that the teacher across the hall has. It's not coming. The librarian was vague. She doesn't know what happened to it. On the other hand, she does know what happened to two other items. On one she put the wrong number and on the other she forgot to put a number. So will the problem be corrected? No, it's too late. Apparently, the entire thing could have been avoided had I never ordered an internet cord. No one said ANYTHING about not ordering technology...as a matter of fact, another teacher ordered a numeric keypad for his laptop and a flash drive. Apparently the internet cord messed everything up. It's unclear when exactly this was dealt with, but eventually it was changed and resubmitted (last week I think, when I asked where the heck everything was)....the librarian proudly arrived at my door the next day with a cable she had gotten from district office (because she has a friend down there) just for me. It's a firewire to ethernet cable. It would be really helpful if I owned a Mac. I didn't even know they made cables like that....
I will be teaching U.S. History next year....that could be good or bad. The kids will be juniors and will take the class more seriously because it's state tested...but the stress that comes with state tests is daunting. Also, the two teachers who teach it this year are leaving, and I'm sure they will give me all their resources, but once they leave I'm on my own. Who knows who else will teach it. It should be interesting.
I'm very ready to go home for Easter. I didn't go home over spring break and I miss my family. I would desperately love to be ahead enough that I don't have to do work next weekend, but out of stupidity I came home and sat on the couch for 3 hours after school today just for the novelty of it. Today was the first day in a week I'd gotten home before 8. I wasted it quite well. I just need to keep on truckin for a few more weeks and I'll be set. I just really wish I had more lesson plans done (next week is planned, but nothing after that)...I watched one of the veteran teachers make her copies for the rest of the school year the other day. I want to be at that place. It's like a mirage that never happens. You plan two whole weeks one Saturday to get ahead and 5 days later you only have a week's worth of lesson plans left. I feel like I'm chasing my tail all the time trying to beat the clock and stay ahead of the game and days just keep passing by.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Saturday, March 24, 2007
I'm a slacker
I have no lesson plan for Tuesday (or the days that will follow). Spring Break was fairly unproductive except for when I destroyed the car on the way home from Texas. That has led to a lot of used car shopping during time when I would normally lesson plan. My classes were ridiculous this week. My lunch class has zero respect for me. Maybe they never had respect for me and I just never noticed. They really got under my skin this week. I dealt with it poorly. I haven't graded most of the papers from this week and need to do lesson plans, but it will just have to happen tomorrow. I think I've reached a more healthy balance between work and school, but it means that I'm not quite as efficient at school. Whereas I used to spend hours lying awake worrying about what I hadn't done yet, I'm going to sleep tonight instead. Things will get done, the world won't come to an end, and the truth of the matter is...when I lesson plan on Friday afternoons, it usually drags on through all of Saturday and part of Sunday (although it morphs into something else like grading or MTC classwork). Since I've been forced to spend hours on end at car dealerships, I'll just squish what I can into Sunday and pray that the rest of it turns out all right. Part of it is laziness too. I'm really burnt out and sick of my kids' attitudes. 47% of my students failed my class last term. I'm ready for summer. I'm ready for a fresh start next year. I may have to take a mental health day this week (of course, it may be a going to the bank and car dealership day).
I did make a lot of parent calls this week though. Something that has helped tremendously, but taken up most of my after-school time. I guess that's why the lesson planning never got done. I keep telling myself to just make it to Easter, but I know there are going to be 6 more weeks after that. I'm sure they will go by quickly, and things are definitely better than they were in November, but Spring Break was WAY too short.
I did make a lot of parent calls this week though. Something that has helped tremendously, but taken up most of my after-school time. I guess that's why the lesson planning never got done. I keep telling myself to just make it to Easter, but I know there are going to be 6 more weeks after that. I'm sure they will go by quickly, and things are definitely better than they were in November, but Spring Break was WAY too short.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
What you should know about MTC...
I think the biggest thing to understand when coming to MTC is that there's a reason they are giving you so many incentives to join. They are asking you to do one of the hardest jobs in the world, in one of the most difficult places to do it, and to go to school part time during all of this. The first semester will be sleepless, nerve-racking, and incredibly frustrating. The second semester is mildly easier. To be brutally honest, there is a reason many of these school districts have trouble getting and retaining teachers. Nothing about this experience will be easy.
On the other hand, nothing is insurmountable. Many people before you have done it, and many people after you will, and most of us have survived as somewhat rational human beings. Once you get past the first few months, you learn to deal with the stress and how to better manage your time. The kids start to appreciate you (in very minute ways, on very sporadic occasions). You start to feel somewhat competent for at least 20 minutes a day. You have a few good moments. Of course you also have a lot of bad moments, but I've noticed that most of those moments come because we care too much in a situation where it seems like no one else does. And those are the best kinds of "bad moments" to have, at least you're fighting for something.
The biggest thing to remember is that these are teenagers who usually haven't gotten the attention or the love that they need and deserve at home. If you make that kid feel important for 5 seconds, you've had a successful day. The job is extremely rewarding, but in very small, intense moments.
You will eat, sleep, and breathe teaching for at least the first 4 months. Your roomates/spouse will know every child you teach by name, because you will feel the need to vent on a daily basis. You will go out to dinner with friends and swear that you will not discuss school, but every single topic will lead back to what happened in your room today. You will be SO sick of telling kids to tuck in their shirt, spit out their gum, walk in a line to lunch, etc... But somehow, everyday, you will get up and do your best and it will get better day after day. Every day you will think you can't do it, and every day you will...and then one day you will wake up and you won't feel like you're pretending to be a teacher anymore, you'll actually be one.
On the other hand, nothing is insurmountable. Many people before you have done it, and many people after you will, and most of us have survived as somewhat rational human beings. Once you get past the first few months, you learn to deal with the stress and how to better manage your time. The kids start to appreciate you (in very minute ways, on very sporadic occasions). You start to feel somewhat competent for at least 20 minutes a day. You have a few good moments. Of course you also have a lot of bad moments, but I've noticed that most of those moments come because we care too much in a situation where it seems like no one else does. And those are the best kinds of "bad moments" to have, at least you're fighting for something.
The biggest thing to remember is that these are teenagers who usually haven't gotten the attention or the love that they need and deserve at home. If you make that kid feel important for 5 seconds, you've had a successful day. The job is extremely rewarding, but in very small, intense moments.
You will eat, sleep, and breathe teaching for at least the first 4 months. Your roomates/spouse will know every child you teach by name, because you will feel the need to vent on a daily basis. You will go out to dinner with friends and swear that you will not discuss school, but every single topic will lead back to what happened in your room today. You will be SO sick of telling kids to tuck in their shirt, spit out their gum, walk in a line to lunch, etc... But somehow, everyday, you will get up and do your best and it will get better day after day. Every day you will think you can't do it, and every day you will...and then one day you will wake up and you won't feel like you're pretending to be a teacher anymore, you'll actually be one.
Baseball
I went to a baseball game a couple of weeks ago. A few of my students are on the team. Two of them from the same class. I figured it might be fun and the kids would enjoy it. I found the field fairly easily and realized there were a total of about 12 spectators. Somehow I had expected grandstands full of fans. I ended up sitting with my student's (the pitcher's) parents in the one covered area as it drizzled cold rain throughout the game. It ended up being one of the most fun things I've done all year. My student could really pitch! and his family was absolutely hysterical. At least 3 aunts were there, his mother, some cousins, and a grandmother. I think there were more people in his family than all the other fans put together. They yelled and screamed and called other relatives every time he struck someone out. As I sat next to his mother, we talked. Apparently my class is his favorite subject (you would NEVER know). Also, his classroom behavior has improved tremendously, since I now know his entire family on a first-name basis. He's still not doing his homework, but I intend to keep going to games and keeping up my contacts.
I also got to see one of my freshman students on the team. He wasn't playing (I found out later it was because he had 5 F's), but the child stood in the dugout and heckled the other team for 3 hours straight. In my room, he's still learning that not every thought that comes into his head should come out of his mouth. During class, he more often has his hands on the ground than his feet and uses the desk as a jungle gym. During one day of groupwork, he sang from the time the bell rang until the end of class. He sang about climate and weather (what we were studying), he sang about his reading teacher's saggy sweaters, I told him to hush and he sang the song "Hush"....sometimes it's intentionally disruptive, but sometimes I really think he can't contain himself. That night, in the dugout, hanging from the rafters, he was in his element. He never got to touch the baseball, but for 3 hours he could yell and hang from the roof and feel like he was a part of something. I still see his feet in the air occasionally in my room, but I gained a lot of respect when I came out to the game. I can't wait for the next one.
I also got to see one of my freshman students on the team. He wasn't playing (I found out later it was because he had 5 F's), but the child stood in the dugout and heckled the other team for 3 hours straight. In my room, he's still learning that not every thought that comes into his head should come out of his mouth. During class, he more often has his hands on the ground than his feet and uses the desk as a jungle gym. During one day of groupwork, he sang from the time the bell rang until the end of class. He sang about climate and weather (what we were studying), he sang about his reading teacher's saggy sweaters, I told him to hush and he sang the song "Hush"....sometimes it's intentionally disruptive, but sometimes I really think he can't contain himself. That night, in the dugout, hanging from the rafters, he was in his element. He never got to touch the baseball, but for 3 hours he could yell and hang from the roof and feel like he was a part of something. I still see his feet in the air occasionally in my room, but I gained a lot of respect when I came out to the game. I can't wait for the next one.
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