At the beginning of the year I had a student, K.C. He was very bright, attentive, and charismatic. He talked a little too much and sometimes got in trouble for it, but he was polite and considerate and just very different from my other students. I found out later that he was from California and wondered if that somehow explained it. He wasn't performing to his potential and I spent quite a few afternoons on the phone with his mom. Around Christmas, he came and told me that he was dropping out to get his GED. I was SO disappointed.
Yesterday he came by to see me. It was the first time I'd seen him since he left. He told me that he was graduating next week with the seniors (with his GED) and going to the community college. He hoped in a couple of years he could transfer to a four year college. I asked him what he wanted to study and he said maybe psychology. I got his email address and promised to send him mine. Then he said, "I just wanted to thank you, Mrs. D." And I asked, "Thank me for what?" He said, "Just...thank you...for everything." We talked a bit more and then he hugged me and left (I've gotten over my paranoia about touching students, although I am very careful about how I hug my male students). Just that small interaction made me understand why veteran teachers stay in the profession. I don't even remember what I said to him that made him come back up to the school and find me six months later to thank me, but knowing that I said or did something that made a difference made me feel like this year wasn't a waste.
Kids are funny at the end of the year. Suddenly they're really going to miss you. I finally told my kids (10th graders) that I'm teaching 11th grade next year. The ones who gave me nightmares this year invariably said, "I hope I have you again next year! Request me in your class." I finally questioned one girl who has been rolling her eyes at me for the past 180 days,
"Why would you want to be in my class next year? I thought you hated this class."
"I don't hate you. I hate having to be quiet in your room."
It's when they say things like that, that I remember how young they are. I think the best part about next year is that I will no longer feel like I need their approval. I feel fairly confident that I know how to do this job now, so it doesn't matter if they like me. I tried to feel that way this year, but I was constantly wondering if I was doing things right and all you see are students all day...you want reassurance from someone. Having more confidence and having a reputation at the school with the adults as well as the students is going to make next year much easier. Not easy, but easier.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Last days of school
The last days of school were surprisingly anticlimactic. Students kind of dwindled away throughout the week depending on if other teachers would let them take their exams early or if they had classes with no exams like P.E. Also, being on A-day/B-day blocks means that Wednesday was the last day I saw some kids and Thursday was the last day I saw others. It didn't feel like it had a lot of closure.
One thing that's strange to me is that kids don't get their yearbooks until the summer. I remember at the beginning of last year kids were passing around yearbooks and I couldn't figure out why. Apparently they do this so that pictures from second semester can be included in the book, but then students don't get to sign each other's yearbooks, especially seniors. I'm sure kids with yearbooks are annoying, but these last couple of weeks had a lot of random down time where they could have been doing that. It seems like one more thing we're doing to make these kids feel like they have no sense of camaraderie at the school and therefore no investment in it. I'm constantly surprised by how little my students know about each other. I guess they move so often, they don't really get to know each other.
Friday was make up exam day. We kept the students in the cafeteria and took turns watching them. The students left at 1:00. At about 1:30, the vice principal came on the intercom and announced that ALL STUDENTS should be out of the building and off the premises. About 5 minutes later he came back on and said, "Teachers, we wanted to inform you that we have planned an in-service professional development for this afternoon and it will start shortly." (My stomach sank.) "The in-service will take place at your individual residences, so at this time, teachers, you may begin moving to your own homes to start your in-service for this afternoon." I think that was when it hit me. The year was over. I'd survived. I had no more lessons to plan and no more students to teach. It was summer. I hadn't even considered the idea of summer. I'd been so busy just trying to make it through. And I thought for sure that I wouldn't. I think I celebrated a little bit too hard yesterday, but I sure did deserve it. I have to go back Tuesday and Wednesday and do paperwork and help with graduation, but mostly I'm free!
One thing that's strange to me is that kids don't get their yearbooks until the summer. I remember at the beginning of last year kids were passing around yearbooks and I couldn't figure out why. Apparently they do this so that pictures from second semester can be included in the book, but then students don't get to sign each other's yearbooks, especially seniors. I'm sure kids with yearbooks are annoying, but these last couple of weeks had a lot of random down time where they could have been doing that. It seems like one more thing we're doing to make these kids feel like they have no sense of camaraderie at the school and therefore no investment in it. I'm constantly surprised by how little my students know about each other. I guess they move so often, they don't really get to know each other.
Friday was make up exam day. We kept the students in the cafeteria and took turns watching them. The students left at 1:00. At about 1:30, the vice principal came on the intercom and announced that ALL STUDENTS should be out of the building and off the premises. About 5 minutes later he came back on and said, "Teachers, we wanted to inform you that we have planned an in-service professional development for this afternoon and it will start shortly." (My stomach sank.) "The in-service will take place at your individual residences, so at this time, teachers, you may begin moving to your own homes to start your in-service for this afternoon." I think that was when it hit me. The year was over. I'd survived. I had no more lessons to plan and no more students to teach. It was summer. I hadn't even considered the idea of summer. I'd been so busy just trying to make it through. And I thought for sure that I wouldn't. I think I celebrated a little bit too hard yesterday, but I sure did deserve it. I have to go back Tuesday and Wednesday and do paperwork and help with graduation, but mostly I'm free!
High School Fashion
Unfortunately my camera ran out of batteries, so this is the best picture I have. I know this student has worn this shirt to school before, but I guess this was the first time I looked at it. I couldn't help myself. I had to ask.
"Mark, are those food stamps on your shirt?"
"Yeah, Mrs. D. You've never seen these before? They have one that has an EBT card and then food stamps and it says 'Back in the old days'"
All the other kids in the class were unimpressed, because apparently they had seen many of these before.
I can't decide how I feel about it, but it seemed like something that should be shared.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Patchwork
I just reread my past few posts and realized my blog has become pretty depressing. It's not that my life is that depression 100% of the time, it's just that, like every journal I've ever kept, this has become my mode of venting/processing the bad stuff. When the good stuff happens, I just live it. I've never felt the need to document that part.
So here's some of the good stuff, and maybe you can piece together the big picture:
1. Tuesday I got to leave campus to eat lunch for the first time. It seems like a really silly thing to be happy about, but all day I had this professional air. I had an appointment. I had to go somewhere on my planning period. I was very important and had very important things to do. It's amazing how leaving the building can make you suddenly feel like an adult.
Which brings us to #2:
I went to a Rotary club luncheon. I'm starting an Interact club at the school. We'll be the first in the district. The Rotarians were cool. The club is all about community service (yea Peace Corps!), international understanding (yea Peace Corps!), and mentoring opportunities from the Rotarians (which my students desperately need). Will it work? I have no idea. Are the kids interested? I sure hope so. Will it be a headache? For sure. But suddenly I have a role in the school other than boring children for 100 consecutive minutes each day (Now I can bore them after school too! :)
#3 www.teachingtolerance.org
We had just finished the Cold War and I had time for one more unit. The pacing guide had become non-decipherable after Easter. I had to choose between the Vietnam War (briefly glossed over in the Cold War material) and the Civil Rights movement. I figured Civil Rights would be more fun. Despite the sheer determination of students to be obnoxious teenagers ("Why are we studying this now instead of back in February?"--don't try to explain the logistics of sequential historical events to a child that has been trained to believe Martin Luther King only exists in February), I think I may have won them over, thanks to Teaching Tolerance. The organization sends free videos and accompanying materials to anyone who requests them. They sent me about 5 different vhs/dvds and some awesome posters. This was the first time I've gotten to use them. Last week was state testing, so I planned a movie on Rosa Parks into the lesson. It was miraculous. The same class who would NOT be quiet or respectful while I was giving them the notes earlier was silent the minute Rosa Parks' cousin came on the screen. Students who haven't turned in a paper all year watched the video from beginning to end and made a 100 on the quiz afterwards. The worst discipline problem I had was reminding students who wanted to ask me questions to wait until the end. I gave some more notes and showed a video on the children's march in Birmingham today. It had the same effect. The way the videos are produced, they have interviews interspersed with actual historical footage and re-enactments (recorded with a historically accurate camera, so they look real--but subtly indicated by a sign on the side of the screen). They have outstanding music from the time period and great stories that the kids can connect with ("I was always nosy, so I crawled up under the house to see what Aunt Rosie [Rosa Parks] was talking about."/ "My mama told me, 'Don't go. I mean DON'T GO.' And I said, 'I hear you.' We were raised not to lie. So I didn't lie and tell her I wasn't going to the march, I said 'I hear you.'") Kids are getting teary eyed when people are being abused and cheering when "Bull" Connor finally gets removed from office.
Hopefully, the next couple of weeks will be more of the same.
So here's some of the good stuff, and maybe you can piece together the big picture:
1. Tuesday I got to leave campus to eat lunch for the first time. It seems like a really silly thing to be happy about, but all day I had this professional air. I had an appointment. I had to go somewhere on my planning period. I was very important and had very important things to do. It's amazing how leaving the building can make you suddenly feel like an adult.
Which brings us to #2:
I went to a Rotary club luncheon. I'm starting an Interact club at the school. We'll be the first in the district. The Rotarians were cool. The club is all about community service (yea Peace Corps!), international understanding (yea Peace Corps!), and mentoring opportunities from the Rotarians (which my students desperately need). Will it work? I have no idea. Are the kids interested? I sure hope so. Will it be a headache? For sure. But suddenly I have a role in the school other than boring children for 100 consecutive minutes each day (Now I can bore them after school too! :)
#3 www.teachingtolerance.org
We had just finished the Cold War and I had time for one more unit. The pacing guide had become non-decipherable after Easter. I had to choose between the Vietnam War (briefly glossed over in the Cold War material) and the Civil Rights movement. I figured Civil Rights would be more fun. Despite the sheer determination of students to be obnoxious teenagers ("Why are we studying this now instead of back in February?"--don't try to explain the logistics of sequential historical events to a child that has been trained to believe Martin Luther King only exists in February), I think I may have won them over, thanks to Teaching Tolerance. The organization sends free videos and accompanying materials to anyone who requests them. They sent me about 5 different vhs/dvds and some awesome posters. This was the first time I've gotten to use them. Last week was state testing, so I planned a movie on Rosa Parks into the lesson. It was miraculous. The same class who would NOT be quiet or respectful while I was giving them the notes earlier was silent the minute Rosa Parks' cousin came on the screen. Students who haven't turned in a paper all year watched the video from beginning to end and made a 100 on the quiz afterwards. The worst discipline problem I had was reminding students who wanted to ask me questions to wait until the end. I gave some more notes and showed a video on the children's march in Birmingham today. It had the same effect. The way the videos are produced, they have interviews interspersed with actual historical footage and re-enactments (recorded with a historically accurate camera, so they look real--but subtly indicated by a sign on the side of the screen). They have outstanding music from the time period and great stories that the kids can connect with ("I was always nosy, so I crawled up under the house to see what Aunt Rosie [Rosa Parks] was talking about."/ "My mama told me, 'Don't go. I mean DON'T GO.' And I said, 'I hear you.' We were raised not to lie. So I didn't lie and tell her I wasn't going to the march, I said 'I hear you.'") Kids are getting teary eyed when people are being abused and cheering when "Bull" Connor finally gets removed from office.
Hopefully, the next couple of weeks will be more of the same.
Graffiti
Somewhere between Sunday evening and Monday morning there was graffiti found on my school that said "Virginia Tech" and had tomorrow's date. When I heard it on the news Monday (I had taken the day off), I was surprised, but didn't feel overly concerned. For the past few days, all the kids at school have been talking about it, taking every opportunity to ask me what I think and if I'm coming to school tomorrow. I've assured them all that I'll be there and the school is taking every precaution. I reminded them that if they hear anything specific, they shouldn't hesitate to tell someone, because this is not a joke. They've all told me they heard it was done by kids from our rival school. I think they'd accuse our rival school of doing just about anything, but it sounded plausible. They've all informed me that they're not coming to school tomorrow. I actually had 2 students stop by today to get their assignments for tomorrow. I heard a couple of teachers talk about whether or not they were coming.
I'm trying to remain level-headed, but the closer I get to tomorrow morning, the more I start to worry. I've rationalized it a million different ways. Kids who were actually going to do something wouldn't warn you first...would they? I feel 90% sure that it was a stupid prank, but that 10% keeps nagging at me. What if something happens? We haven't had any kind of faculty meeting this week. The only information given was a written description of what happened and the "security measures" being taken that was distributed to the students. No one has mentioned what we might do if something did happen. There's evidence that someone who is not enrolled at my school was in my class Monday. Another non-student was found in first period today. I don't feel completely confident that the administration has this under control. We have an assembly at 9:45. One thing's for certain, my door will be locked all day tomorrow and my cell phone will in my pocket.
I'm trying to remain level-headed, but the closer I get to tomorrow morning, the more I start to worry. I've rationalized it a million different ways. Kids who were actually going to do something wouldn't warn you first...would they? I feel 90% sure that it was a stupid prank, but that 10% keeps nagging at me. What if something happens? We haven't had any kind of faculty meeting this week. The only information given was a written description of what happened and the "security measures" being taken that was distributed to the students. No one has mentioned what we might do if something did happen. There's evidence that someone who is not enrolled at my school was in my class Monday. Another non-student was found in first period today. I don't feel completely confident that the administration has this under control. We have an assembly at 9:45. One thing's for certain, my door will be locked all day tomorrow and my cell phone will in my pocket.
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