K.C.

At the beginning of the year I had a student, K.C. He was very bright, attentive, and charismatic. He talked a little too much and sometimes got in trouble for it, but he was polite and considerate and just very different from my other students. I found out later that he was from California and wondered if that somehow explained it. He wasn't performing to his potential and I spent quite a few afternoons on the phone with his mom. Around Christmas, he came and told me that he was dropping out to get his GED. I was SO disappointed.
Yesterday he came by to see me. It was the first time I'd seen him since he left. He told me that he was graduating next week with the seniors (with his GED) and going to the community college. He hoped in a couple of years he could transfer to a four year college. I asked him what he wanted to study and he said maybe psychology. I got his email address and promised to send him mine. Then he said, "I just wanted to thank you, Mrs. D." And I asked, "Thank me for what?" He said, "Just...thank you...for everything." We talked a bit more and then he hugged me and left (I've gotten over my paranoia about touching students, although I am very careful about how I hug my male students). Just that small interaction made me understand why veteran teachers stay in the profession. I don't even remember what I said to him that made him come back up to the school and find me six months later to thank me, but knowing that I said or did something that made a difference made me feel like this year wasn't a waste.

Kids are funny at the end of the year. Suddenly they're really going to miss you. I finally told my kids (10th graders) that I'm teaching 11th grade next year. The ones who gave me nightmares this year invariably said, "I hope I have you again next year! Request me in your class." I finally questioned one girl who has been rolling her eyes at me for the past 180 days,
"Why would you want to be in my class next year? I thought you hated this class."

"I don't hate you. I hate having to be quiet in your room."

It's when they say things like that, that I remember how young they are. I think the best part about next year is that I will no longer feel like I need their approval. I feel fairly confident that I know how to do this job now, so it doesn't matter if they like me. I tried to feel that way this year, but I was constantly wondering if I was doing things right and all you see are students all day...you want reassurance from someone. Having more confidence and having a reputation at the school with the adults as well as the students is going to make next year much easier. Not easy, but easier.