My summer classroom management plan included 4 rules:
1. Be prepared.
2. Raise your hand and wait to be recognized before you speak.
3. Stay in your seat.
4. Respect your teacher, your classmates, and yourself.
I really like these rules and I think I'll stick with them. I questioned the hand-raising for a while, but I think I'll keep it.
My consequences are:
1. Warning
2. Copying from glossary
3. Copying and call home
4. Detention and call home
5. Office Referral
I think I'll stick with my consequences too. I need to make my sign in my room a little clearer and I need to make sure kids understand that if they don't turn in the copying when they walk in my room, they're already on #3 and will keep moving down from there. I've quit assigning other letters from the glossary. I used to assign S (the longest) and P (the second longest) and occassionally others, but that just led to confusion and kids felt it wasn't fair, so now everyone copies "S". I hear my kids in the hall say, "I got letter 's' today"...everyone knows what that means and they'll say something like, "That sucks." Letter S has 32 words and definitions.
I think I'll change a couple of my rewards. Over the summer they were:
1. Verbal Praise
2. Positive Call home
3. Positive letter home
4. Student of the week
5. Student of the nine-weeks
Group Reward: Marble Jar
The rewards are wearing me out. I started giving $5 McDonalds gift certificates to my student of the week which is EXTREMELY effective because they all want them and EXTREMELY expensive, since I give 3 a week. Same problem with student of the 9 weeks. I gave them all a book about a girl in Peace Corps that I found on clearance for like $5 each last nine weeks. I'd like to give them something christmas related, but I have 6 classes and a tight budget. I like the idea of books if I can find The Best Christmas Pagent Ever or something for cheap. I'm still trying to figure out how to do this better for next year.
The Marble jar is annoying. If I'm not up at my overhead, I have to get up to put marbles in or take them out. It's a good motivator for the kids though. Also losing an entire day for rewards is bad. Maybe if I keep it, the reward will only be 30min-1 hr.
I think I'll do a ticket system next year. I'm missing small rewards and incentives and I think tickets would serve that purpose.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Classroom Management
I chose my A-4 class to be my class where I would stick to the consequences every time. (Of course, I try to do this all day long, but in A-4 I never let up) Has it made the class any better behaved? No. Has it prevented the class from getting worse? Possibly. I screamed at them Tuesday. I had just finished giving out about 5 copying assignments in a row and people were still talking. I slammed my hand down on the desk and screamed. They laughed, but I think it was nervous giggling. I am AMAZED at how it is almost the end of the second nine weeks and the rules still seem foriegn to them. EVERY DAY they test me. And I think I've been as close to perfectly consistent as is humanly possible. And EVERY DAY it is the same thing. I've resigned myself to the fact that I just have to suffer through it. A lot of circumstances are out of my control. I got the class the fourth week of school. There are 3 new kids in the class (out of 17). The kids are constantly in and out of ISS/Suspension (although 3 of them got permanently expelled--maybe there is a God)...The one time I let them out of their desks we went to the library and I was HUMILIATED by their behavior in there in front of other teachers. Blatant disrespect, ignoring my rules, consequences, comments. I should have packed them up and gone back to the room, but I didn't have a plan B and I didn't want to have to move them through the halls again. After school on the way to my car one of the teachers that had seen me in the library called me over to her car. I was almost too embarrassed to even go over there. She made my day, though, when she told me that I should NEVER have been stuck with all those children in one class, even more so as a first year teacher. She teaches a lot of them throughout the day and has the same problems, just not all in one class. It made me feel better. But I still dread A-4.
My major classroom management problem in A-4 has been this: The only way I can control them is if they are in their desks working and I am standing over them, ready to hand out warnings and consequences. If I even get up and begin to lecture or instruct I will be interrupted repeatedly and I will miss certain minor things that will eventually lead to chaos. The Mississippi Studies textbook has no teacher manual, no worksheets, no supplemental materials of any kind....so I constantly make up worksheets. The problem is, any one worksheet will take them 5-15 minutes to complete, depending on complexity and I teach 100 minute blocks. 100 minutes divided by 15 is about 7...in one day... If I give them anything that might take longer than 5 minutes (yesterday's essay assignment for example), they simply will not do it, regardless of how many points it's worth. We spend 3:10-3:30 staring at each other every other day while we wait for the bell. At least after Christmas it will be geography which has resources.
My tenth grade classes are MUCH better. A-1 could hold class without me there. Honestly, I'm not as strict in that class and they can handle it. Occassionally K.C. will ask a question without raising his hand and immediately say, "Oh, excuse me Mrs. D." That is the class Reggie Barnes observed. That is the class I had my vice principal observe. B-2 is the most fun class I teach. I did get a little too lax on the rules in there and had to tighten up a bit, but somehow they are more mature. They ask probing, insightful questions and when I ask, "Who can raise their hand and tell me __________" 50% of the hands shoot up in the air. Occassionally I give a writing assignment, but it never goes beyond that.
I've had to really crack down in my other classes. I let up on the hand raising too much. B-1 has 4 new students which is throwing off the dynamics. It's also my largest class. B-4 is fourth block, so they're either asleep or talking or packing up their bags to go home 20 minutes before the bell. A-3 is lunch and they are constantly in trouble for something. There's a lot of attitude and disrespect in that room that I'm still trying to deal with. Almost daily, I give K.M. a warning and she says, "It wasn't me" I let it slide, because I wasn't going to argue with her and after she says it she quiets down, but now a couple of other kids in that class are starting to talk back to me after I give them warnings and that's disrespectful.
Overall, I need to be a little stricter, but it's mostly O.K. A-4 has destroyed my confidence, joy, and excitement though. I'm grumpy in all my classes now because of them.
My major classroom management problem in A-4 has been this: The only way I can control them is if they are in their desks working and I am standing over them, ready to hand out warnings and consequences. If I even get up and begin to lecture or instruct I will be interrupted repeatedly and I will miss certain minor things that will eventually lead to chaos. The Mississippi Studies textbook has no teacher manual, no worksheets, no supplemental materials of any kind....so I constantly make up worksheets. The problem is, any one worksheet will take them 5-15 minutes to complete, depending on complexity and I teach 100 minute blocks. 100 minutes divided by 15 is about 7...in one day... If I give them anything that might take longer than 5 minutes (yesterday's essay assignment for example), they simply will not do it, regardless of how many points it's worth. We spend 3:10-3:30 staring at each other every other day while we wait for the bell. At least after Christmas it will be geography which has resources.
My tenth grade classes are MUCH better. A-1 could hold class without me there. Honestly, I'm not as strict in that class and they can handle it. Occassionally K.C. will ask a question without raising his hand and immediately say, "Oh, excuse me Mrs. D." That is the class Reggie Barnes observed. That is the class I had my vice principal observe. B-2 is the most fun class I teach. I did get a little too lax on the rules in there and had to tighten up a bit, but somehow they are more mature. They ask probing, insightful questions and when I ask, "Who can raise their hand and tell me __________" 50% of the hands shoot up in the air. Occassionally I give a writing assignment, but it never goes beyond that.
I've had to really crack down in my other classes. I let up on the hand raising too much. B-1 has 4 new students which is throwing off the dynamics. It's also my largest class. B-4 is fourth block, so they're either asleep or talking or packing up their bags to go home 20 minutes before the bell. A-3 is lunch and they are constantly in trouble for something. There's a lot of attitude and disrespect in that room that I'm still trying to deal with. Almost daily, I give K.M. a warning and she says, "It wasn't me" I let it slide, because I wasn't going to argue with her and after she says it she quiets down, but now a couple of other kids in that class are starting to talk back to me after I give them warnings and that's disrespectful.
Overall, I need to be a little stricter, but it's mostly O.K. A-4 has destroyed my confidence, joy, and excitement though. I'm grumpy in all my classes now because of them.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
The silver lining
I like my job.
It's a really strange feeling. I can't really explain why I like it right now, although I could b*tch and moan about quite a few things...but for some reason I like it. I make many mistakes daily. I run out of things to do with 5-10 minutes left at least once a week in some class period. I run out of time in other class periods. I'm drowning in ridiculous paperwork and I'm probably only an outstanding teacher one day a week. But the rest of the days I'm adequate. Kids are in their seats, doing work and learning....It may not be interesting or "differentiated", but at least it's work oriented daily.
One of the biggest helps for me has been the random decision during TEAM this summer to do my 5-day on Chapter 7. I'm giving the Chapter 6 test on Friday/Monday and then it's fairly smooth sailing. Of course, my team lessons were designed for 40 minutes and I have 100, but most of the work is done. Chapter 8 will only be a take-home test in the interest of time and the fact that it's a short, fairly unimportant chapter. Chapter 9 was my 6 day lesson plan. Of course, I still have to plan for my other prep, but having one already finished is SOOOOOOOOO wonderful. I guess this is what it feels like to be a second year teacher...
Another ray of light is the arrival of EEF money. I won't see anything I order for many months (if at all, from what I hear), but the opportunity to spend $500 on organizational and creative supplies for my classroom is my favorite thing I've done all year. Maybe I'll get file folders and some pens. Colored pencils? Transparencies? Printer Ink. Whiteboard Markers. Index Cards. Colored Paper. Some kind of In-Out box so that I can find the surface of my desk again. Velcro. I've discovered I use a lot of velcro....
Somehow I've started to see the students as kids, too, which helps. As awful as it sounds, the first few weeks of school the glares they would give me made me sick. I looked at a room full of kids who hated me for 100 minutes 4 times a day. They still hate me some days...but I'm starting to see through it, to understand them more, and also to build up a thicker skin to that kind of stuff. The good parts are getting better and I'm learning how to deal with the bad parts.
I still hate being out of bed before 8 am. It would be hard to find a job that lets me sleep past 8. I think I'm just going to have to get over that.
It's a really strange feeling. I can't really explain why I like it right now, although I could b*tch and moan about quite a few things...but for some reason I like it. I make many mistakes daily. I run out of things to do with 5-10 minutes left at least once a week in some class period. I run out of time in other class periods. I'm drowning in ridiculous paperwork and I'm probably only an outstanding teacher one day a week. But the rest of the days I'm adequate. Kids are in their seats, doing work and learning....It may not be interesting or "differentiated", but at least it's work oriented daily.
One of the biggest helps for me has been the random decision during TEAM this summer to do my 5-day on Chapter 7. I'm giving the Chapter 6 test on Friday/Monday and then it's fairly smooth sailing. Of course, my team lessons were designed for 40 minutes and I have 100, but most of the work is done. Chapter 8 will only be a take-home test in the interest of time and the fact that it's a short, fairly unimportant chapter. Chapter 9 was my 6 day lesson plan. Of course, I still have to plan for my other prep, but having one already finished is SOOOOOOOOO wonderful. I guess this is what it feels like to be a second year teacher...
Another ray of light is the arrival of EEF money. I won't see anything I order for many months (if at all, from what I hear), but the opportunity to spend $500 on organizational and creative supplies for my classroom is my favorite thing I've done all year. Maybe I'll get file folders and some pens. Colored pencils? Transparencies? Printer Ink. Whiteboard Markers. Index Cards. Colored Paper. Some kind of In-Out box so that I can find the surface of my desk again. Velcro. I've discovered I use a lot of velcro....
Somehow I've started to see the students as kids, too, which helps. As awful as it sounds, the first few weeks of school the glares they would give me made me sick. I looked at a room full of kids who hated me for 100 minutes 4 times a day. They still hate me some days...but I'm starting to see through it, to understand them more, and also to build up a thicker skin to that kind of stuff. The good parts are getting better and I'm learning how to deal with the bad parts.
I still hate being out of bed before 8 am. It would be hard to find a job that lets me sleep past 8. I think I'm just going to have to get over that.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Learning Styles Blog
My class averages on my learning styles inventories were almost exactly the same for each category (with less than a .04 difference in one class). There were two exceptions to this rule. One was in my class that talks all the time. The students in this class were overall more "People Smart". That could be the reason they are constantly trying to talk. The second exception was in my one freshman class. The students in this class were more "Picture Smart" or visual learners. These two exceptions confirmed my earlier suspicions. The "People Smart" class is better at groupwork and constantly tries to help each other, even when it should be independent work. The "Picture Smart" class is horrible at reading or writing, but loves to look at pictures or do any kind of assignment involving colored pencils. It's amazing how they walk into my room out of control, but after 5 minutes with colored pencils in their hands, they're like angels (I think that has something to do with other issues too, but I won't go into that here).
The most notable result on my inventories was that the students with the lowest grades in my class are each in only one or two learning styles categories, whereas the students who do well in my class are equally distributed between the categories. The students who do poorly are not any one particular learning style as a group, but each individual has certain learning styles where they fit. This confirmed my earlier suspicions that the high achievers will do well in my class whether I lecture every day, or not. It's the ones who have low grades that will suffer if I don't vary my teaching techniques.
Since I gave the tests and calculated the results, I've tried a couple of different things. First, we did a very interactive groupwork activity where students had to act like newscasters and give the "breaking news" of England in the 1700s. As expected, my "people smart" class loved it, as did a couple of other classes, but 2 classes really struggled because of certain individuals who refused to work with their groups. I've also tried to hit more than one learning style in each lesson I teach. I always hit visual and auditory, but I'm trying to involve more kinesthetic and peer-interaction activities. Of course, these bring up classroom management issues in certain classes, so I'm still struggling with that. My lesson plans for next week include passing around some pictures for kids to see and touch and various activities where kids actually get to move and do things. I know that different activities will reach different kids, so my major focus right now is varying things enough that each student can learn. If I figure out how to do that, I'll be the next Harry Wong. :)
The most notable result on my inventories was that the students with the lowest grades in my class are each in only one or two learning styles categories, whereas the students who do well in my class are equally distributed between the categories. The students who do poorly are not any one particular learning style as a group, but each individual has certain learning styles where they fit. This confirmed my earlier suspicions that the high achievers will do well in my class whether I lecture every day, or not. It's the ones who have low grades that will suffer if I don't vary my teaching techniques.
Since I gave the tests and calculated the results, I've tried a couple of different things. First, we did a very interactive groupwork activity where students had to act like newscasters and give the "breaking news" of England in the 1700s. As expected, my "people smart" class loved it, as did a couple of other classes, but 2 classes really struggled because of certain individuals who refused to work with their groups. I've also tried to hit more than one learning style in each lesson I teach. I always hit visual and auditory, but I'm trying to involve more kinesthetic and peer-interaction activities. Of course, these bring up classroom management issues in certain classes, so I'm still struggling with that. My lesson plans for next week include passing around some pictures for kids to see and touch and various activities where kids actually get to move and do things. I know that different activities will reach different kids, so my major focus right now is varying things enough that each student can learn. If I figure out how to do that, I'll be the next Harry Wong. :)
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Homework
This is in response to some concerns about homework...My kids have homework almost every night. 90% of them do it 90% of the time. I stole this method from my "mentor teacher" at school. Each night students have to take cornell notes on the next section or outline the next section (and define all the vocab words). The next day, after the do-now they have an open-note quiz on whatever the homework was. All quizzes are 5 questions and fairly simple. I throw the quiz on the overhead (with a printout for my kid that can't see the board), tell them how to head their paper, say it is open note, but not open book...all books need to be under the desk (and I wait until every single book is out of sight, even the closed ones, even if the student is not taking the quiz), then I uncover the quiz. If a student was absent the day before, they head their paper, write "I was absent", and turn it in with the rest of the quizzes. This method is great for you because:
1. 5 random questions to grade each day, instead of all the homework
2. gives you an extra 5-10 minutes at the beginning of the period (takes up that time while you're waiting on morning announcements)
3. Breaks up block-schedule a little bit more (do now + quiz= approx. 15-20 min)
4. Kids who don't do their homework are forced to sit and stare at you for 10 minutes and see a zero each day to remind them that they didn't do it.
5. Teaches them good note-taking skills/organization, because they have to find the answers in their binders in the time you give them...I don't accept late quizzes when I take them up.
6. No make-up work. If a kid is absent, they are still responsible for the material, but they'll just have one less quiz grade (or double the next one)
The only homework I take up are review sheets, which I grade for completion, and I check those because it usually directly correlates to the kid's grade on the test and I want documentation.
1. 5 random questions to grade each day, instead of all the homework
2. gives you an extra 5-10 minutes at the beginning of the period (takes up that time while you're waiting on morning announcements)
3. Breaks up block-schedule a little bit more (do now + quiz= approx. 15-20 min)
4. Kids who don't do their homework are forced to sit and stare at you for 10 minutes and see a zero each day to remind them that they didn't do it.
5. Teaches them good note-taking skills/organization, because they have to find the answers in their binders in the time you give them...I don't accept late quizzes when I take them up.
6. No make-up work. If a kid is absent, they are still responsible for the material, but they'll just have one less quiz grade (or double the next one)
The only homework I take up are review sheets, which I grade for completion, and I check those because it usually directly correlates to the kid's grade on the test and I want documentation.
Honestly
I think I've had an upset stomach since April. Some of it is personal stuff (marriage, moving back to America), some of it is academic (I stress about MTC stuff), and most of it is professional. I'm constantly on-edge. I find myself constantly wondering what would make it better. I really thought teaching would be a perfect fit for me...then why am I so unhappy all the time? Would it be better if I taught in a private school? My hometown? Overseas? Or should I just pack it up, chalk it up to life experience, and get a desk job where I work 9-5 and eat lunch with adults?
I'm lucky that people keep telling me what a great job I'm doing....it's nice to hear, but if I'm doing such a good job, why do I feel so bad all the time? I'm taking next Wednesday off. I've written my lesson plans so that I can. Officially, I have to take my husband to get his driver's license. Unofficially, I need a break before I snap.
I'm questioning my rules. I'm still enforcing them, but I'm wondering if they are really the rules I want. As I become more comfortable in the classroom (like maybe next year), can the hand raising go? Or will that lead to chaos? I gave my kids random group work on Friday that actually went really well. I let them choose their own groups, and it worked out better than when I assign groups (it was their own choice, so they had to work well together). I'm not sure that they learned the content as well as they would have from lecture, but they learned some public speaking skills, writing, picking out main points, and cooperation (They had to write a news story about "breaking events" in Europe in the 1700s--I stole the idea from my teacher's manual). I'm learning that when I let go of control slightly, they do a better job. Not that they can be out of control or not follow the rules, but I can give them a somewhat less-structured assignment and it works out ok. Maybe it's a disaster in the works...maybe it should wait until after Christmas...but there is a level of mutual respect there and as long as there are some boundaries, it doesn't have to be constantly scripted.
My new class was better on Friday. I gave a detention within 5 minutes of the bell and that seemed to scare them. Also, I gave my first student of the week and they seemed really interested in that. I also held them after the bell as an exercise in control. 1 student walked out and will be going to the principal tomorrow morning, but the rest were silent and seated.
I caught a kid cheating on my test Thursday. I wasn't sure until I graded his paper yesterday, but he definitely cheated. Somehow, all of my test "E"s except the original disappeared (it's possible I left them in the copier or something stupid)...I realized this fairly quickly, but it was no problem, because I had 4 other versions. The last class where I gave the test, I know exactly who had the one test "E" because I didn't want him cheating off his neighbor, so I gave him a totally different version. The kid sitting beside my desk had test "D" and then started to recopy his test (why do they do that?) and wrote "E" at the top. I noticed the mistake and told him to fix it. He fixed it, but when I got the test to grade, he had re-written "E". I gave him a zero for cheating. The sad thing is, he didn't even have all the correct answers for E. I have to be more careful about checking their looseleaf for cheat sheets and counting the tests after they turn them in....usually, I have about 15 other things to be doing though. Also, I think for my next test and 9-weeks test, I'll have 20 different versions and only give 4 to each class, so none of the earlier versions overlap with the later classes. Luckily my texbook comes with software that can do that automatically, it's just a lot of printing. (If anyone needs that, you can borrow the CD and install it)
I'm lucky that people keep telling me what a great job I'm doing....it's nice to hear, but if I'm doing such a good job, why do I feel so bad all the time? I'm taking next Wednesday off. I've written my lesson plans so that I can. Officially, I have to take my husband to get his driver's license. Unofficially, I need a break before I snap.
I'm questioning my rules. I'm still enforcing them, but I'm wondering if they are really the rules I want. As I become more comfortable in the classroom (like maybe next year), can the hand raising go? Or will that lead to chaos? I gave my kids random group work on Friday that actually went really well. I let them choose their own groups, and it worked out better than when I assign groups (it was their own choice, so they had to work well together). I'm not sure that they learned the content as well as they would have from lecture, but they learned some public speaking skills, writing, picking out main points, and cooperation (They had to write a news story about "breaking events" in Europe in the 1700s--I stole the idea from my teacher's manual). I'm learning that when I let go of control slightly, they do a better job. Not that they can be out of control or not follow the rules, but I can give them a somewhat less-structured assignment and it works out ok. Maybe it's a disaster in the works...maybe it should wait until after Christmas...but there is a level of mutual respect there and as long as there are some boundaries, it doesn't have to be constantly scripted.
My new class was better on Friday. I gave a detention within 5 minutes of the bell and that seemed to scare them. Also, I gave my first student of the week and they seemed really interested in that. I also held them after the bell as an exercise in control. 1 student walked out and will be going to the principal tomorrow morning, but the rest were silent and seated.
I caught a kid cheating on my test Thursday. I wasn't sure until I graded his paper yesterday, but he definitely cheated. Somehow, all of my test "E"s except the original disappeared (it's possible I left them in the copier or something stupid)...I realized this fairly quickly, but it was no problem, because I had 4 other versions. The last class where I gave the test, I know exactly who had the one test "E" because I didn't want him cheating off his neighbor, so I gave him a totally different version. The kid sitting beside my desk had test "D" and then started to recopy his test (why do they do that?) and wrote "E" at the top. I noticed the mistake and told him to fix it. He fixed it, but when I got the test to grade, he had re-written "E". I gave him a zero for cheating. The sad thing is, he didn't even have all the correct answers for E. I have to be more careful about checking their looseleaf for cheat sheets and counting the tests after they turn them in....usually, I have about 15 other things to be doing though. Also, I think for my next test and 9-weeks test, I'll have 20 different versions and only give 4 to each class, so none of the earlier versions overlap with the later classes. Luckily my texbook comes with software that can do that automatically, it's just a lot of printing. (If anyone needs that, you can borrow the CD and install it)
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Missing in Action
I have a soft spot for the boys in my class that are always in trouble. I have a couple in each class that I know I've talked about before that are so smart and have learned to behave in my class, but are constantly in trouble in other classes. I found out today that one of them moved back to Tennessee. Apparently, he's going to be a father soon and has been acting crazy recently, and getting himself into big trouble. Another one (the one who got called out of my class 2 weeks ago and I haven't seen him since) is MIA according to the vice principal. I tried to call his house today to check up on him, but can't find his student information form (Maybe he never filled one up??). He was the one who wanted to have class discussions and debates.
I have a few others who have left, all of whom have their own problems and need guidance, but I worry about these two because I know they'll do something stupid and get into real trouble. I just hope and pray that MIA boy shows back up in my class. No one knows where he is.
I have a few others who have left, all of whom have their own problems and need guidance, but I worry about these two because I know they'll do something stupid and get into real trouble. I just hope and pray that MIA boy shows back up in my class. No one knows where he is.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Advice anyone?
So...my new class is hell on earth. It could be for many reasons:
1. They haven't adjusted to me yet.
2. They had their routine changed in the middle of the year.
3. The extremely high percentage of "troublemakers" in the class (the vice principal knows 10 of the 18 kids by name from high frequency visits to his office)
4. It's the last period of the day and I'm tired
5. The Mississippi studies textbook would be more useful to start a fire than to teach MS studies
On Wednesday, I had a great lesson planned....then left all my stuff at home. Luckily, the period was only 30-40 minutes (60% day) so I pulled out a blank map and had them label the map to prep for the great lesson to come on Monday. Minor snag....I do a book check for a grade...less than half of the students had their textbooks with them...I give them zeros and berate them about being responsible....then realize that they can't do the assignment without a textbook. I decide to give them my second consequence (copying words from the glossary--I have many copies of these) and tell them they can work off their zero by completing the assignment. About half of the no book kids actually do the assignment. One of them apparently walked out of my room and said, "I'm going to get that b*tch" in such a tone that 2 teachers rushed into my room to make sure I was OK. I don't know which one it was.
I saw them again today. I thought they would bring their books in fear of a copying assignment. 3 kids had books. THREE! I allowed them to share books (which was a management disaster) because at some point work has to be done and I wanted to get them ready for the activity we're doing on Wednesday (No pressure, since Reggie Barnes is coming to observe my little hellions). I passed cotton around the class (that I stole from a field in Batesville) and kids were hitting each other with it, so I had to take it away. I gave a 15 minute lecture on behavior expectations and how if we can't act appropriately, we'll just do worksheets all day.
I have no resources to go with the textbook. The maps in the textbook don't have compasses, scales, etc. so when I want to teach kids that stuff, I have to draw it on. We are learning about dirt, and dirt is boring. We can't get through the part on dirt, though, because they are acting like idiots.
I don't think my management is consistent because there is SO much going on, it's out of control. I send 1-2 children to the office a day (out of 18!!) for stupid things that can't be stopped by "warning" or "detention" because these are not immediate consequences, so the behavior continues until we get to "referrall". They have no respect for me or my things (they got their marble jar dumped out because they put marbles in it while I was in the hall). I am constantly angry with them, which is not helping, but I don't know how to fix the problem. One problem is planning--we never work bell to bell, because I can't invent 100 minutes of activities to go with the crappy textbook, unless we do a chapter a day. I spend 8 hours a week making worksheets. Nothing I do or say seems to have any effect on their behavior. Help!
1. They haven't adjusted to me yet.
2. They had their routine changed in the middle of the year.
3. The extremely high percentage of "troublemakers" in the class (the vice principal knows 10 of the 18 kids by name from high frequency visits to his office)
4. It's the last period of the day and I'm tired
5. The Mississippi studies textbook would be more useful to start a fire than to teach MS studies
On Wednesday, I had a great lesson planned....then left all my stuff at home. Luckily, the period was only 30-40 minutes (60% day) so I pulled out a blank map and had them label the map to prep for the great lesson to come on Monday. Minor snag....I do a book check for a grade...less than half of the students had their textbooks with them...I give them zeros and berate them about being responsible....then realize that they can't do the assignment without a textbook. I decide to give them my second consequence (copying words from the glossary--I have many copies of these) and tell them they can work off their zero by completing the assignment. About half of the no book kids actually do the assignment. One of them apparently walked out of my room and said, "I'm going to get that b*tch" in such a tone that 2 teachers rushed into my room to make sure I was OK. I don't know which one it was.
I saw them again today. I thought they would bring their books in fear of a copying assignment. 3 kids had books. THREE! I allowed them to share books (which was a management disaster) because at some point work has to be done and I wanted to get them ready for the activity we're doing on Wednesday (No pressure, since Reggie Barnes is coming to observe my little hellions). I passed cotton around the class (that I stole from a field in Batesville) and kids were hitting each other with it, so I had to take it away. I gave a 15 minute lecture on behavior expectations and how if we can't act appropriately, we'll just do worksheets all day.
I have no resources to go with the textbook. The maps in the textbook don't have compasses, scales, etc. so when I want to teach kids that stuff, I have to draw it on. We are learning about dirt, and dirt is boring. We can't get through the part on dirt, though, because they are acting like idiots.
I don't think my management is consistent because there is SO much going on, it's out of control. I send 1-2 children to the office a day (out of 18!!) for stupid things that can't be stopped by "warning" or "detention" because these are not immediate consequences, so the behavior continues until we get to "referrall". They have no respect for me or my things (they got their marble jar dumped out because they put marbles in it while I was in the hall). I am constantly angry with them, which is not helping, but I don't know how to fix the problem. One problem is planning--we never work bell to bell, because I can't invent 100 minutes of activities to go with the crappy textbook, unless we do a chapter a day. I spend 8 hours a week making worksheets. Nothing I do or say seems to have any effect on their behavior. Help!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Poverty Blog
I spent the day covertly reading a book on poverty in between meeting with parent who actually live in poverty. Somehow I felt ashamed at my naivite for having to read the book and my arrogance at doing it on parent-teacher conference day. I kept it in my lap....
I was struck by a lot of different things in the book, one of them being that as a highly organized, "thinking map" oriented person, I was providing my students with life skills. Just teaching them how to read the textbook, pick out the important information, and organize it in some way is valuable. Maybe I knew this on a deeper level, but it makes me feel a lot better about time I considered "wasted" in my classroom while we learned how to take notes and fill in organizers.
Another ego-booster was the thought that just by being in the classroom day after day with my knowledge of middle class "hidden rules" I was being a role model and teaching them survival skills for school and work. As Woody Allen said, "85% of life is just showing up".
One part that made me feel less capable was the chapter on the three voices. I think I use the parent voice a lot in my classroom. I'm having a hard time deliniating between the parent voice and control of the classroom. For me, right now, they are one and the same. I can see by my kids' reactions to me that I am antagonizing them and creating conflict sometimes in the way I deal with situations, but sometimes my blood pressure just gets so high I kind of snap. I'm having a hard time remembering that these students have only been in my room for 45 minutes, so all the things I've repeated for the first 3 hours, need to be repeated again with the same patience. My poor fourth block bears the brunt of my frustrations.
The book also made me realize that I'm not doing enough with vocabulary. I know my kids' reading level isn't where it should be, but I never thought that it would be affecting their ability to process certain information because they lack specific terminology. I've moaned and complained about the district-required word-wall, but I think I can do more with it. These kids deserve more from me.
Overall, the book shed light on a lot of things that I understood subconsciously, but haven't really addressed in my classess. I'm hoping that between the book and the learning styles inventories, I can start focusing on what my students really need.
I was struck by a lot of different things in the book, one of them being that as a highly organized, "thinking map" oriented person, I was providing my students with life skills. Just teaching them how to read the textbook, pick out the important information, and organize it in some way is valuable. Maybe I knew this on a deeper level, but it makes me feel a lot better about time I considered "wasted" in my classroom while we learned how to take notes and fill in organizers.
Another ego-booster was the thought that just by being in the classroom day after day with my knowledge of middle class "hidden rules" I was being a role model and teaching them survival skills for school and work. As Woody Allen said, "85% of life is just showing up".
One part that made me feel less capable was the chapter on the three voices. I think I use the parent voice a lot in my classroom. I'm having a hard time deliniating between the parent voice and control of the classroom. For me, right now, they are one and the same. I can see by my kids' reactions to me that I am antagonizing them and creating conflict sometimes in the way I deal with situations, but sometimes my blood pressure just gets so high I kind of snap. I'm having a hard time remembering that these students have only been in my room for 45 minutes, so all the things I've repeated for the first 3 hours, need to be repeated again with the same patience. My poor fourth block bears the brunt of my frustrations.
The book also made me realize that I'm not doing enough with vocabulary. I know my kids' reading level isn't where it should be, but I never thought that it would be affecting their ability to process certain information because they lack specific terminology. I've moaned and complained about the district-required word-wall, but I think I can do more with it. These kids deserve more from me.
Overall, the book shed light on a lot of things that I understood subconsciously, but haven't really addressed in my classess. I'm hoping that between the book and the learning styles inventories, I can start focusing on what my students really need.
Reasons Why
Reasons why I hate teaching:
1. I never get to wear cute shoes.
2. I question my self-worth at least 6,000 times a day.
3. I've forgotten what it feels like to wake up after the sun.
Reasons why I love teaching:
1. Those magical moments (few and far between, but still worth it)
2. My mentor teacher
3. I'm the expert (at least for 100 minutes 3 times a day)
I had a revelation tonight over margaritas and mexican with my mentor teacher. My school has never had a PSAT prep program. My students are in the 10th grade. PSAT is 10th grade. PSAT opens the door to college scholarships and opportunities outside of Jackson. I may have a purpose here. I may have an extra-curricular program. As much as I suck at so many things, if there's one thing I know how to do, it's take standardized tests. I'm going to talk with my principal in the morning.
Also, I learned some things about how excited people are that I'm at the school. Apparently, very positive things are being said behind my back that I was not aware of. The administration is apparently excited. My department is apparently excited (and concerned that I've been so down lately). These things somehow make a world of difference and make next week seem exciting for the first time this year.
I may actually BE a teacher.
1. I never get to wear cute shoes.
2. I question my self-worth at least 6,000 times a day.
3. I've forgotten what it feels like to wake up after the sun.
Reasons why I love teaching:
1. Those magical moments (few and far between, but still worth it)
2. My mentor teacher
3. I'm the expert (at least for 100 minutes 3 times a day)
I had a revelation tonight over margaritas and mexican with my mentor teacher. My school has never had a PSAT prep program. My students are in the 10th grade. PSAT is 10th grade. PSAT opens the door to college scholarships and opportunities outside of Jackson. I may have a purpose here. I may have an extra-curricular program. As much as I suck at so many things, if there's one thing I know how to do, it's take standardized tests. I'm going to talk with my principal in the morning.
Also, I learned some things about how excited people are that I'm at the school. Apparently, very positive things are being said behind my back that I was not aware of. The administration is apparently excited. My department is apparently excited (and concerned that I've been so down lately). These things somehow make a world of difference and make next week seem exciting for the first time this year.
I may actually BE a teacher.
Monday, September 11, 2006
4,006,073 things to do....and I'm writing this blog.
It's 8:00pm. As soon as I finish typing this I fully intend to crawl into bed and read a novel completely unrelated to teaching. It's Monday and already I feel my sanity slipping away. How can I be SO behind ALL the time, when all I do is work? Large parts of it I feel like I bring on myself. I'm not the model of blinding efficiency we hear so much about. I haven't put anything in a plastic sheet protector in months...and you know how much I love those things.
I look around my school and wonder why I'm the only one running around like this. Other teachers are stressed, but not about their classes. No one else has rules, consequences, or rewards posted on their walls. No one seems to have a system for kids who have been absent. No one has student of the week. Why am I knocking myself out trying to make these things work...spending all the extra time on them...when apparently other people can make the world go round without them. What is the secret magic that happens when they close their doors?
For some of them the "magic" is apathy and chaos....and I don't want that. But in some of these rooms learning is taking place without the late night runs to walmart to buy 12 pairs of scissors and the midnight baking of brownies for B-1's reward. Every time I figure out how to make one process efficient, something new pops up.
My lesson today was horrible. It will be horrible tomorrow as well, because I'm not going to spend the hour necessary to make it better tonight. Wednesdays isn't looking much better. We have parent teacher conferences this week and I have 130 progress reports that can't be filled up until I finish grading all the things that haven't been graded. I have piles of stuff on my desk that need to be filed. I have lesson plans and overheads from the beginning of the school year that are somewhere in the bottom of a file cabinet. Each week I feel like I have to choose one thing....grading, lesson planning, organization, or sanity. I tend spend about a week on each one...and during that week, nothing else gets done. I also have Reggie Barnes coming next week to observe my brand new prep (today was my third day with them) out of some kind of wierd bad karma. We are learning about the different types of soil in Mississippi. If it's possible, I care less than the students.
So now I'm off to curl up in my warm bed...secure in the knowledge that tomorrow will be one day closer to my day off/parent teacher conference day and with the hope that the weekend will arrive sooner than the deadlines. I am smack dab in the middle of survival mode and I'm not sure I'll ever escape. We had a speaker today come and talk about lesson plans (during my planning period--which was so convenient) and all I could think the whole time she was there was, "How do I get your job?" Will there be a day when I actually feel competent at this?
I look around my school and wonder why I'm the only one running around like this. Other teachers are stressed, but not about their classes. No one else has rules, consequences, or rewards posted on their walls. No one seems to have a system for kids who have been absent. No one has student of the week. Why am I knocking myself out trying to make these things work...spending all the extra time on them...when apparently other people can make the world go round without them. What is the secret magic that happens when they close their doors?
For some of them the "magic" is apathy and chaos....and I don't want that. But in some of these rooms learning is taking place without the late night runs to walmart to buy 12 pairs of scissors and the midnight baking of brownies for B-1's reward. Every time I figure out how to make one process efficient, something new pops up.
My lesson today was horrible. It will be horrible tomorrow as well, because I'm not going to spend the hour necessary to make it better tonight. Wednesdays isn't looking much better. We have parent teacher conferences this week and I have 130 progress reports that can't be filled up until I finish grading all the things that haven't been graded. I have piles of stuff on my desk that need to be filed. I have lesson plans and overheads from the beginning of the school year that are somewhere in the bottom of a file cabinet. Each week I feel like I have to choose one thing....grading, lesson planning, organization, or sanity. I tend spend about a week on each one...and during that week, nothing else gets done. I also have Reggie Barnes coming next week to observe my brand new prep (today was my third day with them) out of some kind of wierd bad karma. We are learning about the different types of soil in Mississippi. If it's possible, I care less than the students.
So now I'm off to curl up in my warm bed...secure in the knowledge that tomorrow will be one day closer to my day off/parent teacher conference day and with the hope that the weekend will arrive sooner than the deadlines. I am smack dab in the middle of survival mode and I'm not sure I'll ever escape. We had a speaker today come and talk about lesson plans (during my planning period--which was so convenient) and all I could think the whole time she was there was, "How do I get your job?" Will there be a day when I actually feel competent at this?
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Big Picture Problems
So I feel like up until this point I've been focusing on tiny problems, the ones I could deal with. This week I feel like I've kind of taken a step back and can see the big picture now. I've noticed a few disturbing things...
The 10th grade Vice Principal (whom I respect) had a run-in with a child outside my classroom. C.D. and I had a run in the first day of school, but have been alright since. He knows he can't get away with anything in my class and I called his grandma the first week and complimented him on his changed behavior (after the first day incident). He respects me....he doesn't like me, but he respects me. Well, the poor child got placed in my new Mississippi Studies class. Now he has me A-4 AND B-1. The first day of Mississippi studies he was apparently VERY unhappy about this. I took him outside and talked to him and he calmed down and sat at least. Towards the middle of the period I sent him on a B.S. errand and after he came back he politely raised his hand and said, "If I do this, you're still going to talk to them after school right? This doesn't mean I'm staying." (I had promised him that I would see if he could get his schedule changed--I knew he couldn't, but what's the harm in asking?) I assured him I would and he started his assignment. Yesterday I was talking with the Vice Principal at lunch and mentioned the note I had sent to his office (with C.D.). He was shocked and appalled that I had sent him on an errand. Outside my classroom the day before was the "first time he had encountered the young man" and basically thought he was a horrible person. I kinda explained to him that he just needs a little extra attention....if he believes that I'm trying to help him, he's actually a great kid. The V.P. kinda looked at me funny but laughed.
So today, the bell rings and C.D. walks in my door, slams his books down on a desk he KNOWS is not his assigned seat and gets ready to throw a temper tantrum. I tell him to move desks. He starts to freak out. I ask him to come into the hall with me. They have just come over the intercom and announced "CODE RED" which means lock your doors and they assign anyone caught in the hall detention. In the meantime, I'm trying to calm down a kid who's really angry and wound up and fidgety and looking a little crazy. I don't know what I'm going to do with him, but he needs to either calm down or not come into my room. I decide to write him up because he's not calming down and he keeps saying he's going to go talk to the principal anyway, so I'm thinking "yeah, you can go talk to the principal, when I write you this referral". Well, I'm out there talking with him and the security guard yells to the VP that there are two kids outside my door (the other kid really was late to my class). And tells the kids to go down the hall to the VP (I'm STANDING RIGHT THERE!). I see the VP and kind of motion to him to come over (to help with the kid who has LOST his mind) and he starts lighting into C.D. I try to explain that he wasn't late, but I need help with something else, but he's halfway down the hall and won't come any closer for some reason (I guess someone might get away during the CODE RED). He completely ignores every word coming out of my mouth and takes the kid down there. The kid comes back later and asks for a note to explain that we were talking so he won't get detention. I write the note, the kid comes back and behaves for 60 minutes, I talk to him after class and tell him if he comes in angry like that again, I won't even let him in the room. He needs to leave his problems outside.
I learned a few things:
1. During a CODE RED, only the CODE RED matters...I was within 15 feet of a security guard and the VP with a kid VISIBLY freaking out, and got no help.
2. To the VP, there are "bad kids" and "good kids". A bad kid is ALWAYS doing something bad.
I've also realized over the past few weeks that those kids are the ones closest to my heart. I have one in each class period. They are some of the smartest kids in the school and probably have the toughest problems outside of my classroom, but in my classroom (after a few false starts) they know how things work...I've had 3 of them tell me how much they like my class and one actually acknowledged that he understood my rules and not to give up because kids will take advantage of me. Of course, that was yesterday afternoon and the police pulled him out of my class this morning. That almost made me cry. I probably won't see him for weeks now. I wonder what he did? All three of them spend about every other week suspended, but when they are in my room, they're angels. One of them actually came to tell me last week that he was suspended, that's why he wasn't in my class earlier. Is it strange that these are the students who make my day?
1st block today I noticed how when I have a better lesson plan (lots of connections to modern day events, pictures, music, different activities), the kids are better behaved.
3rd block today I learned that when the kids are horrible from the door, my lesson plan SUCKS, no matter how many pictures or CDs I have. A girl in 3rd block asked me when their marble jar would be filled up (A-1 and B-1 filled up theirs yesterday and today). I REALLY, REALLY had to keep from saying, "When hell freezes over." That class is still my bad class, even with the girl who called me a b*tch suspended...
The 10th grade Vice Principal (whom I respect) had a run-in with a child outside my classroom. C.D. and I had a run in the first day of school, but have been alright since. He knows he can't get away with anything in my class and I called his grandma the first week and complimented him on his changed behavior (after the first day incident). He respects me....he doesn't like me, but he respects me. Well, the poor child got placed in my new Mississippi Studies class. Now he has me A-4 AND B-1. The first day of Mississippi studies he was apparently VERY unhappy about this. I took him outside and talked to him and he calmed down and sat at least. Towards the middle of the period I sent him on a B.S. errand and after he came back he politely raised his hand and said, "If I do this, you're still going to talk to them after school right? This doesn't mean I'm staying." (I had promised him that I would see if he could get his schedule changed--I knew he couldn't, but what's the harm in asking?) I assured him I would and he started his assignment. Yesterday I was talking with the Vice Principal at lunch and mentioned the note I had sent to his office (with C.D.). He was shocked and appalled that I had sent him on an errand. Outside my classroom the day before was the "first time he had encountered the young man" and basically thought he was a horrible person. I kinda explained to him that he just needs a little extra attention....if he believes that I'm trying to help him, he's actually a great kid. The V.P. kinda looked at me funny but laughed.
So today, the bell rings and C.D. walks in my door, slams his books down on a desk he KNOWS is not his assigned seat and gets ready to throw a temper tantrum. I tell him to move desks. He starts to freak out. I ask him to come into the hall with me. They have just come over the intercom and announced "CODE RED" which means lock your doors and they assign anyone caught in the hall detention. In the meantime, I'm trying to calm down a kid who's really angry and wound up and fidgety and looking a little crazy. I don't know what I'm going to do with him, but he needs to either calm down or not come into my room. I decide to write him up because he's not calming down and he keeps saying he's going to go talk to the principal anyway, so I'm thinking "yeah, you can go talk to the principal, when I write you this referral". Well, I'm out there talking with him and the security guard yells to the VP that there are two kids outside my door (the other kid really was late to my class). And tells the kids to go down the hall to the VP (I'm STANDING RIGHT THERE!). I see the VP and kind of motion to him to come over (to help with the kid who has LOST his mind) and he starts lighting into C.D. I try to explain that he wasn't late, but I need help with something else, but he's halfway down the hall and won't come any closer for some reason (I guess someone might get away during the CODE RED). He completely ignores every word coming out of my mouth and takes the kid down there. The kid comes back later and asks for a note to explain that we were talking so he won't get detention. I write the note, the kid comes back and behaves for 60 minutes, I talk to him after class and tell him if he comes in angry like that again, I won't even let him in the room. He needs to leave his problems outside.
I learned a few things:
1. During a CODE RED, only the CODE RED matters...I was within 15 feet of a security guard and the VP with a kid VISIBLY freaking out, and got no help.
2. To the VP, there are "bad kids" and "good kids". A bad kid is ALWAYS doing something bad.
I've also realized over the past few weeks that those kids are the ones closest to my heart. I have one in each class period. They are some of the smartest kids in the school and probably have the toughest problems outside of my classroom, but in my classroom (after a few false starts) they know how things work...I've had 3 of them tell me how much they like my class and one actually acknowledged that he understood my rules and not to give up because kids will take advantage of me. Of course, that was yesterday afternoon and the police pulled him out of my class this morning. That almost made me cry. I probably won't see him for weeks now. I wonder what he did? All three of them spend about every other week suspended, but when they are in my room, they're angels. One of them actually came to tell me last week that he was suspended, that's why he wasn't in my class earlier. Is it strange that these are the students who make my day?
1st block today I noticed how when I have a better lesson plan (lots of connections to modern day events, pictures, music, different activities), the kids are better behaved.
3rd block today I learned that when the kids are horrible from the door, my lesson plan SUCKS, no matter how many pictures or CDs I have. A girl in 3rd block asked me when their marble jar would be filled up (A-1 and B-1 filled up theirs yesterday and today). I REALLY, REALLY had to keep from saying, "When hell freezes over." That class is still my bad class, even with the girl who called me a b*tch suspended...
Monday, September 04, 2006
Continuation
So briefly, what happened was that the counselor came in, yelled at my students and sent them away one-by-one. The students professed their love for me and wanted to be in another one of my classes. I was asked to come up with a list of honor students in 30 seconds (I've only seen these kids 9 times and one time most of them weren't there because of the pep rally). I took back their textbooks in a wierd chaotic decision by the counselor. He told me I could leave....I couldn't tell if he was trying to get rid of me or what....
I waited for my new class to arrive......and I waited.....and I waited. When they came on to give the afternoon announcements I gave up and went down to his office. Apparently the 9th grade counselor had gone home sick at lunchtime, so kids weren't placed in my class until we got back on Fri (which was B-day, so I'm still not sure who they are). Good news is: somehow feel less pressure and more fun about this class since it was thrown on me at the last minute (less expectations) and I've had a little bit of practice. Bad News: my babies have been thrown to the wolves and had their entire schedules changed, same for the new kids I'm getting, one prep becomes two, I don't know anything about Mississippi studies.
I waited for my new class to arrive......and I waited.....and I waited. When they came on to give the afternoon announcements I gave up and went down to his office. Apparently the 9th grade counselor had gone home sick at lunchtime, so kids weren't placed in my class until we got back on Fri (which was B-day, so I'm still not sure who they are). Good news is: somehow feel less pressure and more fun about this class since it was thrown on me at the last minute (less expectations) and I've had a little bit of practice. Bad News: my babies have been thrown to the wolves and had their entire schedules changed, same for the new kids I'm getting, one prep becomes two, I don't know anything about Mississippi studies.
Friday, September 01, 2006
And the gods smiled down upon me....
The gods had been kind to me. Then for some reason I felt the need to draw attention to myself in my last blog. "Hey, over here! Look at me! I'm happy!"
3rd block in the lunchroom yesterday:
(setting: My angels have just taken their first test today and are eating lunch. One more test to give for the day. Spaghetti and mashed potatoes for lunch)
Characters: Mr. M.-The counselor
Me
Mr. M. sits down next to me in the lunchroom.
Mr. M.: I'm coming to your fourth block today.
Me: Ok, I'm giving a test, so...
Mr. M.: Not anymore you aren't. I'm taking all those kids and putting them in other classes. You're going to teach Mississsippi Studies and World Geography that block.
Me: stunned O....K....
Mr. M.: Don't blame me for this. This comes from the higher ups. I just do what I'm told. Blah, blah, blah.
Me: Yes sir. I don't know what to say. I mean OK. Yes sir. So I shouldn't even give out my test fourth period? Just hold them until you come?
Mr. M.: Yeah. Just hold them. I'll be up there.
As he gets up I look at the teacher sitting at the next table. She gives me a look of pity. I tell my mentor and my department head. I try to eat my lunch.
The bell rings for fourth block. I run down to make copies of my student information sheets so that the little ninth graders will have something to do. I run back up to my classroom.
World History Students: Where do we turn in our review sheet? Is our test multiple choice? Look, Hey Ms. D., I've got that copying assignment for you (from Mr. ISS).
Everyone is in their seats. I close the door. I tell them what's going on.
Me: Mr. M. is on his way up here right now. They're going to break up this class. I don't know exactly what is going to happen, but if any of you are still in here when he finishes, then you have to take your test. So get out your notes, get out something to read, do something.
(To be continued)
3rd block in the lunchroom yesterday:
(setting: My angels have just taken their first test today and are eating lunch. One more test to give for the day. Spaghetti and mashed potatoes for lunch)
Characters: Mr. M.-The counselor
Me
Mr. M. sits down next to me in the lunchroom.
Mr. M.: I'm coming to your fourth block today.
Me: Ok, I'm giving a test, so...
Mr. M.: Not anymore you aren't. I'm taking all those kids and putting them in other classes. You're going to teach Mississsippi Studies and World Geography that block.
Me: stunned O....K....
Mr. M.: Don't blame me for this. This comes from the higher ups. I just do what I'm told. Blah, blah, blah.
Me: Yes sir. I don't know what to say. I mean OK. Yes sir. So I shouldn't even give out my test fourth period? Just hold them until you come?
Mr. M.: Yeah. Just hold them. I'll be up there.
As he gets up I look at the teacher sitting at the next table. She gives me a look of pity. I tell my mentor and my department head. I try to eat my lunch.
The bell rings for fourth block. I run down to make copies of my student information sheets so that the little ninth graders will have something to do. I run back up to my classroom.
World History Students: Where do we turn in our review sheet? Is our test multiple choice? Look, Hey Ms. D., I've got that copying assignment for you (from Mr. ISS).
Everyone is in their seats. I close the door. I tell them what's going on.
Me: Mr. M. is on his way up here right now. They're going to break up this class. I don't know exactly what is going to happen, but if any of you are still in here when he finishes, then you have to take your test. So get out your notes, get out something to read, do something.
(To be continued)
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
A break in the clouds?
I've been scared to post...scared I might jinx it....but this week, I think I'm happy. Nothing has changed (I know I was talking to some other people about this Monday), and yet I feel a million times better. I can recognize things now. I feel more capable dealing with the students. I feel slightly more capable as a teacher. I don't question myself as much. Kids act up, but it doesn't bother me as much anymore.
Most of my kids have failing grades in my class right now. This is entirely due to zeros (not turning in assignments). I took a few aside and talked to them today. First test tomorrow. I hope they don't all bomb it. I gave them a review sheet, but who knows if that will help. I am required (district policy) to count test grades as 70% of their grades.
They seem to think if they all fail the quizzes (open-note to check if they did the homework), then the quizzes won't count. They are sorely mistaken, and I don't know how to convince them of that before official midterm or even nineweeks grades. The few that do their work have close to 100s in my class. Part of it is also learning to take notes and pick out the important part of what they read. I figure, after they take a quiz a day on the notes, they'll start to understand what's important out of the textbook...I try to explain it every now and then, too, but it's just something they're going to have to learn.
I have a huge number of absences/medical leave/etc. I have one girl enrolled in my class who has a home teacher that comes and gets her assignments and then teaches her twice a week and administers her tests. I give her her grades, but I've never even met her. I got 3 new students today and still have about 7-8 on my roster that are "enrolled" (supposed to be coming) that I've never met.
Tomorrow should be a dream. My testing procedures are on my board. How to head/number your paper is on my board. The homework to start after you turn in your test is on the board. There are color coded signs for where to turn in the test and the answer sheet. All I have to do is get them started, watch for cheaters, answer questions, and grade papers (I hope). Is there something I'm missing about test days? Thursday might be a little rough since the test is only 36 questions and some will finish that in about 40 minutes and have to work on homework for 45 (but the assignment is pretty lengthy and shouldn't be a problem). But Friday is pep-rally day, so there will be a lot less time left over. I just hope fourth period on Friday has enough time to finish their tests. Especially the cheerleaders/band/dance team. If lunch doesn't run late then they should have at least 45 min and those kids are usually a little faster...I wonder if the football team leaves early for the pep-rallies? I didn't have football kids on A-day, but this week is B-day. Maybe I should check with the coach.
Most of my kids have failing grades in my class right now. This is entirely due to zeros (not turning in assignments). I took a few aside and talked to them today. First test tomorrow. I hope they don't all bomb it. I gave them a review sheet, but who knows if that will help. I am required (district policy) to count test grades as 70% of their grades.
They seem to think if they all fail the quizzes (open-note to check if they did the homework), then the quizzes won't count. They are sorely mistaken, and I don't know how to convince them of that before official midterm or even nineweeks grades. The few that do their work have close to 100s in my class. Part of it is also learning to take notes and pick out the important part of what they read. I figure, after they take a quiz a day on the notes, they'll start to understand what's important out of the textbook...I try to explain it every now and then, too, but it's just something they're going to have to learn.
I have a huge number of absences/medical leave/etc. I have one girl enrolled in my class who has a home teacher that comes and gets her assignments and then teaches her twice a week and administers her tests. I give her her grades, but I've never even met her. I got 3 new students today and still have about 7-8 on my roster that are "enrolled" (supposed to be coming) that I've never met.
Tomorrow should be a dream. My testing procedures are on my board. How to head/number your paper is on my board. The homework to start after you turn in your test is on the board. There are color coded signs for where to turn in the test and the answer sheet. All I have to do is get them started, watch for cheaters, answer questions, and grade papers (I hope). Is there something I'm missing about test days? Thursday might be a little rough since the test is only 36 questions and some will finish that in about 40 minutes and have to work on homework for 45 (but the assignment is pretty lengthy and shouldn't be a problem). But Friday is pep-rally day, so there will be a lot less time left over. I just hope fourth period on Friday has enough time to finish their tests. Especially the cheerleaders/band/dance team. If lunch doesn't run late then they should have at least 45 min and those kids are usually a little faster...I wonder if the football team leaves early for the pep-rallies? I didn't have football kids on A-day, but this week is B-day. Maybe I should check with the coach.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
bl;kansdofinasopidnfoinag
I've been trying to post on here for a few days now, but seem to lack the capabilities to put my experiences into words. I feel like all day long I'm trying to put complex concepts and situations into black and white terms (office referrals, parent calls, lectures to my kids) and lack of sleep and general stress about the fact that I can't focus on any one thing for more than 30 seconds is making it come out as mush.
Yesterday was ok. Then on the way home, my bag fell over in the car and some coffee remnants spilled all over my bag. Luckily it wasn't much. It did get the edge of my gradebook and some kid's essays though. I got a new gradebook (haven't written anything in it yet, anyway....still using xerox copies of my roll because new kids are added every day)....the kids papers aren't terribly noticable, but I feel horrible about it. Can I blame it on the dog or something?
Ok....so my husband came in and asked me some question about dinner while I was typing that and I just started to cry....because he asked me about dinner. I can't have 5 minutes of work without someone interrupting me. At school, I can't grade papers or lesson plan because the kids are there and I constantly have to watch them, reprimand them, answer stupid questions (Like "Do we have to write the question?" when I've told them NO and at the top of the page it says DO NOT WRITE THE QUESTION in capital letters). I can't focus on anything. It takes me longer to get everything done, because I can't focus....so then I get less sleep....and can't focus because I'm tired....
This week is 400 times better than the last two weeks...it gets better every day. Today I reached a few kids....the ones on the edge....the ones you can tell will probably be discipline problems, but are actually smart....3 of them saw me believe in them today, so for one day they believed in me and actually learned instead of cutting up. Of course, I was focused on one of them in one period and let some things slide on the other side of the room (note passing, etc.) because I was so excited to have this one kid INTERESTED and asking questions about Cortez, Pizarro, the slave trade in the 1500s.... All I can hope is that I won an ally today. He's huge (football player) and popular and if he's engaged, that could cut down a lot of the problems in that class.
My class has turned into a study hall. I'm trying desperately to give a test next Friday (first test), but I'm issuing books tomorrow (actually, I'm still debating that because I'm still 12 books short....what will I do when I get to my last class?), but up until this point, they've been doing their homework in class. Today became....Ok, let's finish up section 1 (sample of how to do 2 column notes) Ok, now Read the section, write 2 column notes....this takes about 45 minutes per section. My class became Do Now, Quiz, lecture on section 1/2 column notes, sit and pretend to work for 45 min-1 hr. It takes them 45 min because they've never done them before. After 15min 2/3 of the class has quit, but others are still working. Today people complained about the quiz (ALL DAY) because they "didn't have time to do the work and couldn't take the book home". They had 45 minutes on Tuesday. One girl who threw a fit about that today, then refused to do her 2 column notes. I got her to quit doing work for another class and made her get her book out, but then she just sat and stared at me for 45 minutes. She'll get a zero on Monday's quiz and the cycle will start again.
The point of this rant is that I have to figure out what I'm doing tomorrow....I'm going to go over sections 1-2, which will take about 30 min (and the do now/quiz will take about 15)...I want the kids to learn that they have to do the notes before I lecture, so should I then make them do two column notes AGAIN for 45 minutes? My class is becoming study hall. I don't want to skip the 2c notes because they will be required to do them as homework for every other chapter. Also, they need the practice. Tomorrow is also Pep Rally day and I'm not sure I have the energy to force 4th block to work on 2c notes.....
Yesterday was ok. Then on the way home, my bag fell over in the car and some coffee remnants spilled all over my bag. Luckily it wasn't much. It did get the edge of my gradebook and some kid's essays though. I got a new gradebook (haven't written anything in it yet, anyway....still using xerox copies of my roll because new kids are added every day)....the kids papers aren't terribly noticable, but I feel horrible about it. Can I blame it on the dog or something?
Ok....so my husband came in and asked me some question about dinner while I was typing that and I just started to cry....because he asked me about dinner. I can't have 5 minutes of work without someone interrupting me. At school, I can't grade papers or lesson plan because the kids are there and I constantly have to watch them, reprimand them, answer stupid questions (Like "Do we have to write the question?" when I've told them NO and at the top of the page it says DO NOT WRITE THE QUESTION in capital letters). I can't focus on anything. It takes me longer to get everything done, because I can't focus....so then I get less sleep....and can't focus because I'm tired....
This week is 400 times better than the last two weeks...it gets better every day. Today I reached a few kids....the ones on the edge....the ones you can tell will probably be discipline problems, but are actually smart....3 of them saw me believe in them today, so for one day they believed in me and actually learned instead of cutting up. Of course, I was focused on one of them in one period and let some things slide on the other side of the room (note passing, etc.) because I was so excited to have this one kid INTERESTED and asking questions about Cortez, Pizarro, the slave trade in the 1500s.... All I can hope is that I won an ally today. He's huge (football player) and popular and if he's engaged, that could cut down a lot of the problems in that class.
My class has turned into a study hall. I'm trying desperately to give a test next Friday (first test), but I'm issuing books tomorrow (actually, I'm still debating that because I'm still 12 books short....what will I do when I get to my last class?), but up until this point, they've been doing their homework in class. Today became....Ok, let's finish up section 1 (sample of how to do 2 column notes) Ok, now Read the section, write 2 column notes....this takes about 45 minutes per section. My class became Do Now, Quiz, lecture on section 1/2 column notes, sit and pretend to work for 45 min-1 hr. It takes them 45 min because they've never done them before. After 15min 2/3 of the class has quit, but others are still working. Today people complained about the quiz (ALL DAY) because they "didn't have time to do the work and couldn't take the book home". They had 45 minutes on Tuesday. One girl who threw a fit about that today, then refused to do her 2 column notes. I got her to quit doing work for another class and made her get her book out, but then she just sat and stared at me for 45 minutes. She'll get a zero on Monday's quiz and the cycle will start again.
The point of this rant is that I have to figure out what I'm doing tomorrow....I'm going to go over sections 1-2, which will take about 30 min (and the do now/quiz will take about 15)...I want the kids to learn that they have to do the notes before I lecture, so should I then make them do two column notes AGAIN for 45 minutes? My class is becoming study hall. I don't want to skip the 2c notes because they will be required to do them as homework for every other chapter. Also, they need the practice. Tomorrow is also Pep Rally day and I'm not sure I have the energy to force 4th block to work on 2c notes.....
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Working 9 to 5
Towards the end of last week I started to do what I should have done the first week. Crack down, send kids to the office, hand out detentions. It's under control, but it's still not enjoyable. I can do it....but do I really want to? I'd never leave in the middle of the school year, but I find myself counting the days until Christmas (and it's only the second week!) and then the second semester.
It is strange how great it feels to have kids silently working in your room, even if you had to turn into the devil to make it happen. I'm still having trouble with kids names, which is the ultimate classroom management no-no, but I know enough now that I can kinda wing it. I'm just bad with names! One kid I sent to the office on Friday is really mad at me. He thinks I was unfair (and I kind of have to agree with him), but he was argueing with me in front of the class at the beginning of the period (because his desk doesn't have a basket underneath--I told him he could move for the day or I'd switch it after school)...I took him out in the hall to calm him down, because this was obviously not about the desk....I explained that he can't talk to me like that because it's disrespectful and if he has a problem like that he should talk to me privately. He calmed down some and we went back in. Suddenly Miss ISS (newly back) frantically raises her hand (without shouting though, thank god, I must have broken them of that habit). I call on her..."THERES A ROACH" (boo for bug spray....asked them to spray for ants.....now have live cochroaches trying to escape). Told Miss ISS she could move to the other side of the room. Smashed the cochroach (about the size of a paperclip) with the stapler...laughing/talking/chaos ensues as Miss ISS makes a production of moving to the other side of the room. I tell her to move quickly....spin around to call out the first kid I see who's talking/laughing and instantly see Mr. Desk-basket. Tell him to stop talking and get to work. Instantly he starts telling me it's unfair, etc., etc.....I can feel control slipping away. I ask him to come out in the hall immediately and write him up (not very eloquently I might add). He thinks it's unfair that I sent him after 2 incidents...I think talking back is disrespectful and warrants instant action. I'm not sure I conveyed this well to him or the administration (although I clarified with the admin later). He came back with about 15 min left in the period and was fine, but when I saw him at lunch he said something as I passed and glared at me....He was my sacrificial lamb...
Also, my Student of the Week in 4th period behaved so badly that I changed my mind at the last minute and gave it to someone else. Once they do announcements in fourth period everyone starts talking and packing up....it's worse on fridays when we do student of the week, they applaud and ALL start talking. I'm awful because I let it slide.
I'd like to spend my Sunday at the grocery store, but instead I'm sitting here writing lesson plans (crappy lesson plans). I'm starting to realize that not having a 9-5 job for the past 3 years and then jumping into this was a little psychotic.
It is strange how great it feels to have kids silently working in your room, even if you had to turn into the devil to make it happen. I'm still having trouble with kids names, which is the ultimate classroom management no-no, but I know enough now that I can kinda wing it. I'm just bad with names! One kid I sent to the office on Friday is really mad at me. He thinks I was unfair (and I kind of have to agree with him), but he was argueing with me in front of the class at the beginning of the period (because his desk doesn't have a basket underneath--I told him he could move for the day or I'd switch it after school)...I took him out in the hall to calm him down, because this was obviously not about the desk....I explained that he can't talk to me like that because it's disrespectful and if he has a problem like that he should talk to me privately. He calmed down some and we went back in. Suddenly Miss ISS (newly back) frantically raises her hand (without shouting though, thank god, I must have broken them of that habit). I call on her..."THERES A ROACH" (boo for bug spray....asked them to spray for ants.....now have live cochroaches trying to escape). Told Miss ISS she could move to the other side of the room. Smashed the cochroach (about the size of a paperclip) with the stapler...laughing/talking/chaos ensues as Miss ISS makes a production of moving to the other side of the room. I tell her to move quickly....spin around to call out the first kid I see who's talking/laughing and instantly see Mr. Desk-basket. Tell him to stop talking and get to work. Instantly he starts telling me it's unfair, etc., etc.....I can feel control slipping away. I ask him to come out in the hall immediately and write him up (not very eloquently I might add). He thinks it's unfair that I sent him after 2 incidents...I think talking back is disrespectful and warrants instant action. I'm not sure I conveyed this well to him or the administration (although I clarified with the admin later). He came back with about 15 min left in the period and was fine, but when I saw him at lunch he said something as I passed and glared at me....He was my sacrificial lamb...
Also, my Student of the Week in 4th period behaved so badly that I changed my mind at the last minute and gave it to someone else. Once they do announcements in fourth period everyone starts talking and packing up....it's worse on fridays when we do student of the week, they applaud and ALL start talking. I'm awful because I let it slide.
I'd like to spend my Sunday at the grocery store, but instead I'm sitting here writing lesson plans (crappy lesson plans). I'm starting to realize that not having a 9-5 job for the past 3 years and then jumping into this was a little psychotic.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
"Amat Amat lang"
That phrase means "just little by little" in Ilonggo. Today was A-day again. Around lunchtime I was actually happy! No major problems. I was doing Ok, but probably a little lax on discipline (we were doing an arts and crafts groupwork thing on the floor and there was a lot of chatter, but work was getting done and no one was out of control, so I let it slide...probably not right according to the powers that be, but I was enjoying evesdropping and getting to know my kids). Before we went to lunch I laid down the law about going to/from lunch. My class has been really loud in the hall and I'm embarrassed that we're disturbing other people's classes. I took my class roster with me to lunch and had no problems on the way down. Coming back up though, (surprise surprise) was loud and obnoxious. We made the obligatory bathroom stop and the other kids were too loud in the hall. Bathroom kids took too long. We started walking to the classroom and they were loud and yelling out my first name (I think I may have let that slip on an overhead of my family tree on B-day---which is wierd cause I was really freaked out about the kids knowing it in summer school....oh well). I told them it was unacceptable and made them go back to where we were standing and get quiet and walk again. Everytime, as soon as I looked away from any part of the line, that part started saying my name, "SHHHHHH", or "we're not going to get any marbles" (in a mocking way....not a serious way). I made them go back and repeat it and told them I would make them stay after the bell for every minute they wasted in the hallway. Finally we made it to the classroom (not completely quiet, but the bell was about to ring and it was close enough) and I made them sit. The bell rang almost immediately and I told them I wouldn't start the minute until everyone was quiet. Everyone was never really completely quiet, but I must have held them 3 minutes after the bell. I dismissed one side of the room first and one girl from the other side walked out. I couldn't find anyone to punish individually, because it was such a group thing....I should have picked a sacrificial lamb. I'm not even sure I know the girl's name who walked out (that's my largest class and today was only the 4th time I've seen them--and the one with 1 major discipline problem that takes up all my time). I'm thinking of making a blanket rule that talking coming back from lunch=morning detention, but I'm worried about enforcing it when I'm walking down the hallway. I guess I could take names and give the consequence when they get back to class, but there is no reason for them to hurry back other than that because there's only 10-15 minutes left in the period. Strangely enough, up until that point that class was angelic.
Fourth period was OK. The groupwork got kind of loud and people were milling around too much. I dealt with it pretty well, but I did have to give one girl detention right at the end because she had been shouting across the room and singing the whole period. I should have cracked down on that sooner.
I have a few simple ideas how to improve for B-day, but not a lot. The activity kind of requires a certain amount of casual-ness (sitting on the floor, getting up and getting supplies, talking to groupmates) and maybe wasn't a great start of the year activity, but they're making world maps, which are fun, educational, and look great in the classroom. On the plus side, the activity takes up the ENTIRE period (a couple of groups didn't finish) and I heard one student say that the period went by really fast, which I take as an indication that they enjoyed it and were busy.
Personally, I'm doing better. Not great, but better. Unfortunately that has to do with lowering my own standards of myself, but I think that may be a healthy thing. Every now and then when I look around the building at 5pm and everyone else is gone, now I think "I should go home" and "I can do this tomorrow". It means I'm not as prepared as I'd like to be, but it also means I'm sane, and I'm more prepared than the teachers that were out the door at 3:45 (brand new teachers!). My administration is great! We've had class lists since the Friday before school started and we distribute textbooks this week (I've had a class set since Friday). Our schedules should be set by the end of the week and they've been really considerate and they come by and check up on me every couple of days. I actually asked my vice-principal about the lunch thing today to try and get some advice and he was pretty cool about it. I haven't baked any cookies because sleep has been more important right now, but I make a point to speak to the custodian/secretaries/librarians every day. My overhead light blew on Friday and the librarian went out of her way to try and order me some bulbs and lent me the library projector in the meantime. I think what made it the hardest last week was that everyone was so supportive, I felt like everything that went wrong was my fault (and it was). But I'm just going to have to make mistakes...that's what new teachers do...and I'm just going to keep caring about the kids and doing the best I know how. I may not reach 100% of them 100% of the time (although I'm sure as heck going to try), but I'm doing my best and when I know how to do it better, I will.
Fourth period was OK. The groupwork got kind of loud and people were milling around too much. I dealt with it pretty well, but I did have to give one girl detention right at the end because she had been shouting across the room and singing the whole period. I should have cracked down on that sooner.
I have a few simple ideas how to improve for B-day, but not a lot. The activity kind of requires a certain amount of casual-ness (sitting on the floor, getting up and getting supplies, talking to groupmates) and maybe wasn't a great start of the year activity, but they're making world maps, which are fun, educational, and look great in the classroom. On the plus side, the activity takes up the ENTIRE period (a couple of groups didn't finish) and I heard one student say that the period went by really fast, which I take as an indication that they enjoyed it and were busy.
Personally, I'm doing better. Not great, but better. Unfortunately that has to do with lowering my own standards of myself, but I think that may be a healthy thing. Every now and then when I look around the building at 5pm and everyone else is gone, now I think "I should go home" and "I can do this tomorrow". It means I'm not as prepared as I'd like to be, but it also means I'm sane, and I'm more prepared than the teachers that were out the door at 3:45 (brand new teachers!). My administration is great! We've had class lists since the Friday before school started and we distribute textbooks this week (I've had a class set since Friday). Our schedules should be set by the end of the week and they've been really considerate and they come by and check up on me every couple of days. I actually asked my vice-principal about the lunch thing today to try and get some advice and he was pretty cool about it. I haven't baked any cookies because sleep has been more important right now, but I make a point to speak to the custodian/secretaries/librarians every day. My overhead light blew on Friday and the librarian went out of her way to try and order me some bulbs and lent me the library projector in the meantime. I think what made it the hardest last week was that everyone was so supportive, I felt like everything that went wrong was my fault (and it was). But I'm just going to have to make mistakes...that's what new teachers do...and I'm just going to keep caring about the kids and doing the best I know how. I may not reach 100% of them 100% of the time (although I'm sure as heck going to try), but I'm doing my best and when I know how to do it better, I will.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
Confessions
I didn't post anything on here until today because I have a confession to make...walking out of the school on Friday all I could do was try to come up with scenarios where I don't have to go back on Monday. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm stuck. I'm not going to leave the school after only one week...although thoughts of leaving at the end of the year may get me through the school year. 4/6 classes are great. 2/6 make me want to go home and shoot myself in the foot, just so I won't ever have to see them again. This may not be what I'm supposed to say, but I'm being honest. They're also back to back and just after my planning period, so I spent my entire planning period dreading the rest of the day. It's so easy to say that you shouldn't care what they think about you, but when students are all you see for the majority of the daylight hours and all you do is work for them, having them glare at you, openly mock you in the hall, etc. is pretty depressing. If I look at it objectively, there are about 5-10 kids that are problems and everyone else is O.K. I think the part that gets me is that I don't feel like I've been handling those kids well. It's my fault they're acting this way. There's something I'm not doing with those classes that I am doing with every other class. I have a few ideas to try out this week. I hope they work, because last week sucked. Dex actually told me today that he loves the weekends because it's the first time he's seen me happy all week.
I feel O.K. today, but tomorrow I will wake up with a sense of dread in my stomach and if last week is any indication, it will just get worse day by day. On the plus side, I think I reached a few kids and my B-day classes seem to love me. Nothing major happened and I only had to talk to the vice-principal about one kid (and that's because he wasn't in my class when I knew he should be), so nothing major has happened in my room. I'm going to spend this afternoon trying to organize for the week and start planning next week (lesson plans due on thursday).
I feel O.K. today, but tomorrow I will wake up with a sense of dread in my stomach and if last week is any indication, it will just get worse day by day. On the plus side, I think I reached a few kids and my B-day classes seem to love me. Nothing major happened and I only had to talk to the vice-principal about one kid (and that's because he wasn't in my class when I knew he should be), so nothing major has happened in my room. I'm going to spend this afternoon trying to organize for the week and start planning next week (lesson plans due on thursday).
Monday, August 07, 2006
One day down.....
Sheer panic. That pretty much encompasses my whole day. Inevitably I'm overreacting, but it sure as hell wasn't easy, and I have a feeling it's just going to get harder. First block---longest 90 minutes of my life...good time management, bad class participation/interaction. Most of the students looked like they hold me personally responsible for ruining their summer vacation and would like nothing better than for me to drop dead right there. Can't say that I blame them. Reading the district handbook outloud is not fun. Rules and proceedures is not fun. My review of how to make a timeline was either WAY below them or they were pretending to be cool. 2nd block is my planning period. I thought about the food I wished I had. I thought about the cash I wished I had. I thought about the cigarette I wished I had. (My morning basically consisted of, "Oh SH**!! IT'S 7AM!!!!" It's a wierd thing I have about not being to wake up on mornings when I know it's going to be hard--same thing happened the first day of MTC) I tried not to think about the terror of upcoming third period. Third period was full of the same stares, but possibly a little better. I was wrapping up beautifully around 12:50 when they're supposed to come get us for lunch. No one came, so I decided to go ahead and give them the homework assignment so they could get started. The homework assignment came and went. It was 1:20. i peered out into the hall and saw people from WAY down the hall starting to go to lunch...hmmmm...kill some time. Went to my bookshelf and picked up a book. They like to be read to, right? Chose the children's book I have about the civil rights movement (actually more of a middle school book). I figured at least it was history related. BSed and introduction and began reading on page 1. Hmmmm....forgot this book was so depressing and really touching. Tried to make a point about why we need to know this stuff and that it wasn't that long ago. Talked a lot for the sake of listening to myself talk. At one point I looked over and saw a boy in the front row with a tear running down his cheek. Suddenly realized everyone in the room was stock still and hanging on my every word. Either they'll hate me cause I depressed them on the first day of school and made them cry or they'll think I inspired them (or it was all completely innappropriate and I'll be hearing about how I shouldn't be discussing these things)... Went to lunch...forgot my table number, had to borrow money from a co-teacher, got halfway through my food when the VP told me they were going to ring the bell for fourth period. Ran upstairs just as the bell rang. First half of fourth period 6 kids came in late from lunch and others came in to get their bags from my room. Beginning of fourth period was angelic and perfect, 6 new kids had missed my speil on rules and instantly changed the tenor of the classroom before I could go back over them. I gave a lot of hollow warnings today and no second consequences. I have lesson plans due thursday for next week and I don't even know what I'm doing this week. Tomorrow I have entirely different students because it's "B" day. Good news is: no lunch class.
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